From the way that you often hear men talk about sex–on TV, on the radio, at the bar and everywhere else–you may be surprised to learn that men can have periods of low sex drive. While most men will have some sexual desire well into their 80s and beyond, it’s not uncommon to see a decrease in desire as you get older.
Sex is an important part of your relationship. While you may not long for the time when your partner wanted to grab at you every time he passed by, you do still want to feel the intimacy that sex brings. If your partner has a low sex drive, you may feel ugly or rejected. You may even feel that he doesn’t love you anymore. These things can make your relationship turn sour.
It’s important not to confuse low sex drive with erectile dysfunction. Both can occur together. When a man has erectile dysfunction, he wants to have sex, but he has a difficult time reaching orgasm or maintaining an erection. A man who has a low libido, however, can easily get an erection, he just doesn’t have the desire for sex.
Age is a major factor in decreased sex drive in men, but there are other things that can contribute. If he is feeling depressed or has a lot of stress in his life–during job troubles or with the arrival of a new baby, for example–then his sex drive may decrease. He may also have a low sex drive if he uses drugs, cigarettes and alcohol. Overweight men also tend to have a lower libido, partially relating to health concerns, but also due to poor self-image.
Determining the real cause of the low sex drive can help to get it back. If stress is the problem, then taking the time to relax or practicing time management can ease the stress and bring back the sex drive. You could also encourage him to live a healthier lifestyle by cooking healthier meals, packing him a lunch and going for walks together.
Consider what it really is that you’re missing. It isn’t always penis-in-the-vagina sex that you want–it’s the closeness and intimacy that comes from having sex. Try to talk to your partner about what you’re looking for. Even if he’s not interested in having sex, he might be willing to have a good snuggle or to kiss you more often.
- man 2 image by chrisharvey from Fotolia.com