Not all men cheat on their wives, but the ones who do have as many different reasons as there are men. The reasons men cheat do not justify the behavior; they are merely explaining it. If your husband is cheating on you, you are certainly not alone. Marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman, author of “The Truth About Cheating,” discovered that 1 in every 2.7 men cheat on their wives.
Men who see a marriage counselor may tell the counselor the truth about why they cheat or they may tell the counselor what they think the counselor wants to hear. According to Neuman, 92 percent of men told him the reason they cheat was an emotional disconnection with their wives, specifically feeling underappreciated.
Men Cheat Because They Can
A frank accounting from an anonymous male writing for “Esquire Magazine” had a different take on why men cheat. Men cheat because they can, just as the stereotype goes. Sometimes, it really is that simple for many men. Men who choose to cheat crave and need the excitement that an affair, especially a one-time-random-collision type of encounter, provides.
Although men are not cavemen anymore, biologically, men are still hardwired to put their seed in as many places as possible, says Dr. Louanne Cole Weston, a California sex therapist, on WebMD. Although this biological urge can be strong, men can overcome it. Men don’t beat each other over the head with clubs anymore, points out WebMD.
Some men cheat because having encounters with a variety of women gave them pleasure when they were younger. They had fun flirting with someone and having that first sexual experience. Some men want to rekindle those times and those feelings.
Exposure to a new woman raises a man’s testosterone levels, according to findings from the book, “Sex at Dawn,” reported in “Psychology Today Magazine.” Even just a brief chat with a new woman can raise testosterone in a man. When a man starts losing his testosterone, he is more likely to suffer from depression, heart attacks and dementia. More testosterone makes a man feel good, so good in fact, that he sometimes confuses the increased hormones with love, according to “Sex at Dawn.”
What You Can Do
If you want to do something as a wife to help ensure that your husband won’t cheat on you, the advice Neuman gives is to build-up your man and to make him feel valued. Keep your communication open with your husband, admire him and appreciate him. Your husband may still cheat, and if you find out, you can deal with it with the knowledge that you did everything you could to make the relationship work.
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