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Advice for Those Who Are in Love With Someone From Another Culture

July 27, 2010 by ModernMom Staff Leave a Comment

The principles of attraction are complicated and difficult to predict. You may find yourself drawn to someone who is physically attractive, or perhaps you might fall in love with a man based on his values. These principles of attraction and the resulting relationship are even more difficult to understand when they lead you to form a bond with someone from a distinctly different culture. It is not unusual for some women to find themselves smitten with men they have nothing in common with. If you find yourself in this situation, you will likely find that these cultural differences can present a host of relationship challenges.

History

Historically, relationships between individuals of different cultures have been legally frowned upon. The most notable case involving the romantic mixing of cultures occurred in 1958 when Mildred Jeter and Richard Loving were charged with breaking Virginia’s ban on interracial marriages. The pair was initially convicted for entering into an interracial marriage and potentially faced up to a year in jail. The ruling was eventually overturned by the U.S. Supreme Court, which ruled that a ban against marriages of culturally heterogeneous individuals was unconstitutional.

Explore Potential Complications

Before you fall head over heels with a man from a different culture, consider the potential complications of such a union. There is nothing to prevent you from forming a bond, but it is advantageous to consider the potential difficulties before you are too deeply involved in the relationship. Think about the differences that you and your partner will have to deal with as you form a pairing and, ultimately, a family. Consider customs, religion and other aspects that may present challenges.

Take an Interest

If you are committed to forming a lasting bond with someone who differs from you, learn about his culture so that you can better understand where he is coming from. As he talks with you about customs and practices in his culture, listen closely and work to absorb the information that he is providing. By learning about his culture, you develop a better understanding of his way of life. You can also prepare to adopt some of these customs as you join with him in forming a family.

Consider Friend and Family Introductions

While you would like to assume that all your friends and family members will respond positively to your new partner, you may find that some are not as accepting of him as you would prefer. Before eagerly introducing your new partner, consider how your friends and family members may react. If you fear that some might react negatively, prepare your partner for this reaction so that he is not caught of guard. To make the meetings go more smoothly, tell your friends or family members in advance. By mentioning the nationality or race of your new beau before the actual introduction, you may be able to avoid some unnecessary and potentially undesirable shock.

Plan With Your Partner

Pretending that you and your partner do not have to contend with cultural differences will not make the relationship easier. Have candid discussions with your partner about future plans. Talk about how your wedding may go, what holidays you will celebrate together and how you will raise your children. By working together to create a game plan up-front, you can increase the likelihood that your union is a harmonious one.

Photo Credit

  • love,love,love image by Maria Brzostowska from Fotolia.com

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