Women do have a sixth sense and it becomes extremely acute after a woman gives birth. From my twenty years of practice I have observed that most woman do not trust their intuition and spend too much time pushing it away rather than listening to it.
I have found that when my clients feel comfortable with me, and allow themselves to tune into their gut feeling about themselves and their children, that ultimately, their initial feelings are always the correct ones. When they are able to be honest enough to tell me what their ‘inner voice’ is saying to them, then it makes my job as a lactation consultant and homeopath easier, and allows us to come up with quicker and less stressful solutions for their problems.
Unfortunately, most moms tend to push away their intuitive thoughts, minimize them and rarely tune into them when it comes to making decisions. They may sincerely feel one way, but then they seem to be easily swayed by their doctors, advertising, or peer pressure. Since there isn’t a step-by-step guide book when you become a parent, the most important gift you can give to your children is your intuitiveness – when it comes to raising and making decisions for them.
Why is it often so difficult for moms to be strong and hold fast to their initial gut feelings, rather than give in to those around them? It is because most of us have spent our lives pushing away our instinctive feelings in order to be accepted and accredited by people around us.
Children on the other hand, are naturally intuitive and can clearly state their likes and dislikes, and quickly ascertain whether they like or dislike people they meet. However, the problem arises when busy adults, who are constantly navigating the many different, and often complex, social events in their lives, ignore their children’s instinctual and gut feelings or even dismiss them as childish ranting. Unfortunately, children walk away with the message that their first intuitive feeling is incorrect, not valid and unimportant; which is an impression that most of us carry into adulthood.
So why is it important to learn to tune into our gut feelings? Because they are usually correct! It’s like meeting a new co-worker who gives us a creepy ‘vibe’, but since we’ve been programed to dismiss our first feelings, we talk ourselves into ‘liking’ the person. Then when that new co-worker turns around and gets us into trouble we say in retrospect, “I knew this person was not someone I could trust.”
Or as another example – haven’t we had an initial feeling that a certain teacher would not be good for our child, but rather than going with our gut intuition, we accept the assessment of everyone around us who insists that this teacher is the ‘best.’ And so we push away our feelings and allow our child to stay in the class. Yet months later we want to pull our hair out because we didn’t go with our initial intuition that was warning us that our child would never ‘click’ with that teacher, but would only end up feeling disappointed and miserable.
How do we begin to listen to the ‘private voice’ in our heads, that modern thinkers call our intuitive-self? It is challenging and often difficult to redevelop our intuitive skill after having worked so hard to dismiss it. Below are a few suggestions that will begin to make your intuitive-self more available to you, and hopefully it will become a trusted friend once again.
Advice to moms for themselves:
1. Stay in the present moment and don’t think about a hundred things at one time.
2. When you enter a new environment, take a moment to look around – notice things like the color of the walls, decorations, smells and lighting.
3. Stop and ask yourself how you feel in the place where you find yourself.
4. When you meet someone new, ask yourself what your first impression is.
5. Stop pushing away your true feelings and experience what you are really feeling.
6. Check in with yourself during the day and begin to understand how things affect you, and how influenced you are by those around you.
Advice for moms to help foster and support their child’s intuitive self:
1. Always ask you children how they are feeling, and really listen to their answers.
2. Don’t just dismiss your child’s thoughts even if you disagree.
3. If your children say they are scared or uncertain, don’t just tell them they shouldn’t feel that way, allow them explain their feelings.
4. Thank your child for telling you their true feelings and tell them how important those feelings are.
5. You don’t always have to give into their feelings; just acknowledging them will allow your children to continue to develop their intuitive-self, be comfortable with it, and allow their gut feelings to be a part of their adult lives.
Begin to teach your children from a young age that what they are feeling and observing is good and safe. This doesn’t mean that if your child would rather have ice cream instead of her salad that we need to ‘honor’ her request, fearing we will repress her growth as an intuitive person! It means that if your child feels scared, you should take the opportunity to talk to her about it, rather than just say, “Oh, there is not anything to be scared about.”
You are still the parent and have adult judgment that is more developed than your child’s, but feelings need to be acknowledged and not dismissed or put down. Allow your child to foster, acknowledge and feel proud of the gift of intuitiveness that she has been given.