I like to think I have some self-awareness. I know when I am about to say something childish to my husband (which does not mean I will refrain, it just means that I know what I am saying is ridiculous). I try to review my behavior when I think it was a bit questionable and I am willing to admit when I am wrong (it never happens, so I’m really lucky).
That said, I’m no Buddha – rather someone who is trying to be the best version of themself that is possible.I was privy to a conversation recently where a person made an outlandish comment – one that reeked of denial and a level of oblivion that I didn’t know was possible. Later as I discussed the conversation with my sister, it dawned on me. What my friend really needs is a steaming cup of self-awareness tea.
I am an avid tea drinker. Seriously, I love the stuff. Not only is it a warm wake-up every morning but a soothing relaxer in the evening. There are so many different varieties and it got me thinking – what a marvelous world it would be if we could find a tea suitable to alleviate some of our more serious concerns! Traditional selection aside, imagine a flavor that could really change things up.
I’ve come up with an assortment of different blends that I think could be really beneficial to me and a few boneheads I know. Now all I need is to find a tiny brewmaster in rural India who can concoct these potions for me:
Things Aren’t That Bad – This calming tea offers an escape from the mundane reality that is your life. Your husband forgetting AGAIN that Wednesday is in fact garbage day… who cares? Your kids pour baby oil all over their bedding… no biggie. With just one cup, you’ve got your rose-colored glasses in place. Sip and savor the infusion of exotic flavors while your spirit lifts and your mind reaches a melodious state.
Self-Awareness Tea – Excellent before a night out with friends or an intimate evening with your partner. Our self-awareness tea offers a refreshing look at the dumb ass things you say and do. Delight in the truth or hide in shame.
Small Rear End Tea – This delicate blend transforms the vision in the mirror. Gone is the golf-ball behind, large and squishy, eating up your jeans. Instead, rejoice in the tight, faultless package that appears as your back end.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Marijuana Tea – Rich and full-bodied, yet exceptionally relaxing, this tea provides the placidness we all seek. Drink liberally through out the day to chill the f*ck out. All the giddy joy you love without all the calories from the munchies.
What kinds of tea would you add to my list? Leave your ideas in the comment section below.
– M.
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