This was one of those weeks.
Tears, anger, OK-you-need-to-get-it-together, problem solve!
Our cute, spunky, smart, assertive, loving, four year old boy was diagnosed with a fortunately curable but very serious form of Lyme Disease. A tick bite led to an infection that invaded his little body – maybe when he played soccer, or played ball, or when we went on a family hike. We’ll never know – because there was no tick found, no rash, no rhyme or reason why he has had to suffer like this. He’s doing much better after quite a scary week in the hospital and will go home to three weeks of IV antibiotics – and he will be absolutely fine.
He needs his mommy – full time – right now. But what do I do? Go through every single thing on my calendar and dare to CANCEL it all? My regular pediatrics job, things for our business, and everything else?
YES.
No one needs me more than he does.
So how do moms who have responsibilities outside the home function and problem solve during those crisis filled times?
I always preventatively tell (“warn”!) child care providers that if they are sick or ask for a certain day off, my first reaction will be a mild “conniption” (is that a real word, or did my mother just use it my whole life?). For probably four seconds, I may twitch, scream, and feel the tears well up in my eyes, and then the transition to “problem solve mode” takes hold.
I just need to figure it out. No matter how bad I want to lay on the floor and curl up in the fetal position, it will not solve a thing. Nothing makes a lick of difference other than coming up with THE PLAN. My PLAN often includes my MAN; my mother did not have that luxury. She raised three children as a single, hard-working, problem-solving queen. My first thought is often, “If my mom could figure it out, I certainly can figure it out”.
For all of us, it comes down to: How can our children be happy and safe and cared for by someone they know and trust, while at the same time our necessary work-outside-the-home is being completed well, thoroughly and efficiently?
Sometimes life has to just be day to day, putting out the fires to get back to a good place for everyone. I do not always know what the plan is going to be. The plan usually morphs like some creature in a bad science fiction movie. Sometimes the plan does not even feel like a plan (at least the kind moms on TV always come up with to save the day).
Somehow (so far), there has always been a plan that gets us over the hump, even if that plan is not a thing of beauty. Even when we feel like a herd of rhinoceroses (or tick carrying deer in my case this week) are about to hit, that’s what being a mommy is all about. Kids come first, and somehow, someway, we have to figure out how to do it!
And on that note…
Enjoy Your Children!
Dr. Jen
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