As we close out this year, celebrate the small wins, not just the big ones.
We live in a culture that prizes spectacular outcomes. The flashy, showy wins are the ones that are the only evidence of growth, right? Wrong.
Sometimes the smallest steps are the only evidence we need to show we are becoming who we’re meant to be. But I often chase the extraordinary instead, as many do. And because of that, I overlook the everyday clarity that comes from small, consistent choices, the ones no one celebrates.
This holiday season, I challenge you to celebrate more than the flashy moments. Honor the steady, consistent small steps you took, too.
Why recognize the little wins?
As parents, we fall into this pattern of awarding the showy and obvious wins, and so do our teens.
We speak loudly about achievements, but we hide the chapters filled with fear, uncertainty, disappointment, or slow progress. For instance, we boast about the final grade on a report card but not about all the long hours and difficult assignments we pushed through to get to the final result.
The big victories can take days, months, or even years to achieve. So often when we do accomplish them, we don’t pause for nearly long enough to reflect on what we did.
I know for me, I will focus on the next impossible goal as soon as I achieve something. Instead, I should take the time to acknowledge the resilience, courage, and strength that enabled me to keep going to the end.
A thousand tiny decisions drove me to achieve the impossible.
How to celebrate
Here are a few ways you can celebrate these small wins this year.
- Log your wins: Try creating a “Small Wins Log” during the final weeks of the year. Parents and teens should each record two to three small victories per week and then share them during a regular check-in. This builds up a habit of noticing progress instead of dismissing it.
- Ask family and friends: Those around you can tell you what you’ve accomplished. Often, our peers notice the changes that we can’t see in ourselves. For instance, a mentor might notice how a teen now finishes their homework early in the evening rather than put it off till the last minute. Or, how a student turns in work on time, even if they still struggled to get through it.
- Do a check-in with your emotions: Teens, take stock of how long it takes you to get over anger or frustration with challenges. Did you have a goal to improve at a particular sport or class? Even if that goal is still in progress, the initial stress or frustration you felt while working towards could look different now. You can also grow in how effectively you regulate difficult emotions.
- Growth happens despite detours: Growth rarely follows the plan we write on paper. The unexpected happens. Teens, I encourage you not to view the unplanned as something negative, but rather look at what it has and can teach you.
- Share wins together: Parents, your teens need to hear about your small wins, too. When you share the whole story of your path to a goal, it shows the small steps you took to something that felt out of reach. And when you are open about your path, your teens are more willing to be open, too.
Build confidence on progress
So now you’ve celebrated the small wins from this past year, I want you to look ahead.
What small steps can you take in 2026 that will lead to the next big victories? How can you grow yourself one tiny decision at a time?
Small wins are not signs of insignificance; they are signs of direction and momentum. We rarely pause to acknowledge how subtle shifts have truly changed our lives.
Let’s teach our teens to honor progress in all its forms, so that they can build confidence that doesn’t depend on perfection.
