Just as you would prepare yourself for a natural disaster, being
organized during the divorce transition can ease challenges. While it
is impossible to prepare and predict what a divorce process will
bring, you can certainly reduce the stress, anxiety and chaos by
engaging in some of the suggestions listed below.
Take Care of Yourself
It’s easy to neglect yourself during the divorce transition, and this
is particularly true if you are used to putting other people first.
While you might have an enormous amount of responsibility you are no
use to anyone if you are ill or depleted. Keep in mind the oxygen mask
theory…put it on yourself before helping others.
Generate the Support
One of the preliminary steps in preparing for your divorce transition
is to build your support team. Make a list of all the people you can
count on, and who you know will be supportive during this time. Be
mindful of including people that seem well intentioned, but actually
cause you more heartache and stress. If you feel off with someone,
honor how you feel and put that relationship on hold until you are
less vulnerable and can protect yourself more easily.
Organize Your Life
Studies show that cognitive functioning slows at times of high stress
and anxiety. It is hard to make good, sound decisions, and daily
functioning can be a challenge. Between juggling meetings with
attorneys, taking care of children, and re-negotiating your life, you
have a lot to think about and a lot to complete. Utilizing modern
technology to reduce your load is a first step in putting things back
in order, and there are many online programs such as Evernote that can
help you stay organized during this trying time of your life.
Expecting your divorce transition to be anything but challenging is a
mistake. Even the most amicable divorces invoke pain, loss and a sense
of despair. Be prepared to experience strong emotions and don’t be
surprised if you are more affected than you thought.
About the Authors
Andra Brosh, Ph.D. and Allison Pescosolido, M.A. are the leading divorce recovery experts in Los Angeles. Founders of Divorce Detox, a proven program guaranteed to speed recovery through the divorce transition, Andra and Allison are certified grief recovery experts, and both hold advanced degrees in the field of psychology. Friends for over 20 years, these dynamic women treat the trauma of divorce and see divorce as an opportunity for personal growth and a better life; they are changing the face of divorce in our society. Visit www.divorcedetox.com to learn more about their programs and cutting-edge work.