I had an incredible conversation with some friends who just became parents. It took me back to that ever changing, delicate time when you go from being a woman to being a mother. Your man goes from being a man to being a father. The focus shifts, instantly someone becomes more important than you ever were, and unfortunately I don’t mean your significant other… The new baby gets all the attention. I listened as my friends shared their new parent experience and the challenges of that foreign adjustment period.
The scary thing is that you don’t even know you’re in it WHEN you’re going through it, because new parents don’t know what IT is! The woman feels insecure, tired, sensitive, unattractive, overwhelmed, hormonal, smushy, like when is the 10 lbs of water ever going to leave my body?!? Trust me, I’ve been there too- FOUR times! It almost feels like an early identity crises as you try to figure out how to be a mother over night. And the poor guy that your heart use to skip a beat for, suddenly becomes invisible and the only goo goo ga ga you are doing is literally baby talk. Oh how I remember those difficult days.
Thank God they don’t last long. I remember my ex sending me flowers just days after I gave birth to try to cheer me out of my baby blues. I was in that “cry over everything” zone. The card read, “Not sure what I did or haven’t done but I love you”, then I just burst into more tears! That pretty much sums it up. I’ll never forget during that time when Barbara Streisand was accepting an award. I watched on TV when she approached the podium to give her acceptance speech and my floodgates opened again. I mean, what an amazing moment, what an incredible woman, and oh-her voice…
That’s when I told myself, before I drown in my own tears that all that baby blues BS must be for real. It didn’t take my ex’s sweet note or Barbara’s award to turn a light on in my head. It took me realizing that I didn’t feel like me to compassionately take a look at what was going on inside. Fortunately, I was able to laugh at myself and reason my way out of it. Many women can’t and it can be depressing and destructive. I began asking questions and discussing other mad mommy moments with friends. It’s amazing how comforting other woman’s stories can be. We’re all going through similar stuff at different times in our lives.
I totally related to my friend’s new parent stories. I remembered choices I made then and how different I approach things today. If we only knew then what we know now as seasoned moms. All the rough times make me appreciate my journey even more. I love the excitement and the naïveté that I see in new parents. I actually still go through many brand new moments with my children. I’ve learned to embrace it all. Every day offers me a new opportunity to discover something about my kids, my own parents, my man, and myself. The difference is that today I am actually listening to it all, and most importantly, listening to myself.
