When I struggle in my interaction with another person I try to repeat to myself:
They are a beautiful person, just as they are.
This helps me to accept them. Love flows through acceptance.
The most effective way I know how to bring out the best in others, is to place my focus on their best qualities. Focusing on someone’s best qualities is a choice, just like focusing on their worst is a choice. I’ve found it is often easier to focus on what I perceive as negative in others, what their faults are, or where I believe they are wrong. However, when I do this I believe I contribute to bringing out the worst in them. Our energy and focus matters.
When I catch myself getting frustrated with a person, I consciously try to avert my attention elsewhere instead of getting swallowed up in negativity of my own creation. Have you ever noticed when you expect the worst in someone, or focus on what you think are their shortcomings, they tend to give you more of it? What if your attention to the bad is actually helping to create more of it? And equally as powerful your attention to the good in others helps bring out the best in them.
I’m starting to notice a push and pull of energy with my children. It is so much easier to focus on what they are doing wrong, and not give nearly enough attention to what is great about them. As a parent I consider it my job to teach them. It is the most important job I have, and I’m really starting to evaluate what the best ways to teach are.
I would not want my kids’ teachers at school to be continuously focusing on my children’s weaknesses, and what they are doing wrong. Instead I would want their teachers to encourage their strengths, give them praise when they do something good and add positivity to their life. If that is what I want from their school teachers and sports coaches, I feel I should do the same, to act in alignment with my heart.
In my life it often seems like the things most worth doing require work, but when you put the effort in it is incredibly rewarding.
I want to shift my focus to the good in people; to give love.