It can be easy to see everything that is stacked up against you. Money is tight, you work too much, the housework is never ending. You have two choices – you can see it as a challenge to overcome, or you can feel sorry for yourself.
If you consciously choose the positive mindset, it will start to come naturally. Before you let something weigh you down, take a moment and think of your options. Do you want to be angry and sad or do you want to take action and be happy? Being a single parent has unique challenges. Instead of dwelling on them, come up with unique solutions, and the world will start to look brighter!
Last week my son turned ten years old. Last week was also my son’s week with his father. Somehow the stars have always aligned in my favor, and I have had the pleasure of being the custodial parent so far on every birthday until this year. It broke my heart to think that my son may not get the same special birthday treatment at his dad’s house that I would give him. So I had two choices – I could let it bring me down, or I could choose the positive and come up with a good alternative. I chose the positive.
There are obstacles in life that you can’t change. There will always be some sort of situation that you sheer willpower will not change. Not having custody of my son on his birthday was an obstacle. But just because I could not change the situation, didn’t mean that there wasn’t a way around the obstacle. I went to my sons’ school early the morning of his birthday and took in cupcakes to his classroom so his peers could celebrate later in the day. I also left a birthday card on his desk letting him know how proud I was to be his mom. He was just entering the school as I was leaving, and I got to wish him Happy Birthday earlier than I anticipated! The evening of Christian’s birthday, his dad agreeed to let me pick him up and take him out for a birthday dinner.
Sure, I may have not have the entire day with my son, nor did I get to sing him Happy Birthday to wake him up that morning, but I got to spend time with him. I found a way around my problem, and made the situation a positive one. Instead of just seeing one parent on his birthday, Christian got to celebrate with both of us.
Taking a moment before committing to giving in is simple, and it is life changing. All you have to do is choose to take a positive approach. This is especially important with dealing with children. Don’t you want to choose to be a positive influence on them? Don’t give in and breed negativity. Just pause, take a deep breath, and choose the positive. The solution may not come immediately, but the smiles will!