My daughterthinks she is a boy. I realized the chances of her being a tomboy were quite high, what with two older brothers and all. I have absolutely no issue with that, except for where clothing is concerned.

Sales 101. If such a class exists (which I’m most certain it does) I hope a tiny little five-year-old is teaching it. They have the sales gig down.

I was waiting in line the other day at a coffee shop where a nice looking, youngish couple were in front of me. I thought nothing of them until they turned to leave and I was floored by the party favors dangling from the fella’s nostrils. The guy had so much nose hair, I was surprised it didn’t get stuck in his teeth.

I’ve spent the week trying to explain to my four year old why I have tattoos. I have two. Sometimes, because they’re both so amazing, I have trouble picking which one I like best. But at the end of the day, the tropical fish by my crotch is the winner.

I’m trying desperately to getmy thirdchildhooked on the television.