I just read a ModernMom instagram post and it brought me back to my daughter Sierra’s 7th birthday. The thought of a birthday cake and 50 people singing “Happy Birthday To You” was a mortifying vision for her. She was never one to be the center of attention, she loved the idea of a b-day party, but I knew that she would try to transport herself to Never Land if I dared bring in a traditional candle lit, frosted cake. It may sound strange but the reality check is that what one of my children loves, another may despise. I have learned to tweak my expectations and listen to the silent signs of everyone’s individual needs. I try daily to love their differences and I pray that one day they can do the same for each other. So sure enough 2-dozen Krispy Kremes punctured with colorful candles was the way she kicked off her 7th year. It reminded me how important it is to tap into the individualities of my children and to embrace their oddities. I think it’s one of the toughest mommy challenges.
I was at BTS night (one of four btw, kill me already!) AND tonight I have a parent potluck which means I will travel back to school for the third time for my one hundred mile journey today. I hate the schlep back and forth to school, I’m just sayin. I wonder if my kids will ever appreciate the grumpy time we shared together on our trips down PCH. J
I was listening to the head of school speak and he made a great point about observing our children. He reminded all of the parents to take a look at their kids and see how they are feeling in their own bodies. What are they proud of ? What are they hiding? What don’t they like about themselves? What are they showing off? I have a 7th grader, a high schooler and Rain who just started 2nd grade at a new school where she knew NO ONE. It’s a year of transition, and growth sprinkled with major physical changes including that “who-the-hell-am-I?” struggle. I’m watching the different ways they dress now to compliment or camouflage certain features.
I posted a pic of my 14 yr. old and her BFF wearing some fall flannel fashion. They tied it up Daisy Duke style, paired with some cut offs (appropriate length) mid drift was peaking through as it does when you make a belly knot. Not to my surprise, the critics chimed in commenting that there “wasn’t enough clothes on girls their age”. I thought to myself, wait-till-they-see-the bikini-pics. Funny enough I posted the edited version of their fun fashion shoot after explaining that the bikini bottom version wasn’t working, waaaay to sexy!
It’s fascinating for me to watch my girls grow into their new selves. I try to remain sensitive and aware of what may be going on behind the scenes. Stuff they may not even be aware of. As women I think we need to do that same for ourselves. The 40’s I believe are equally as tricky as the younger years. I often say to my kids “check yourself”. A moment of self-realization can shed a lot of light on a tough moment.
As women we need to take the same advice to heart. Thx @meetracy for that simple but sound advice! It’s easy to roll through the motions of growing up, but equally dangerous if we’re not paying attentions to the hidden messages.