Weddings are the place to express your beauty, especially when you’re the bride. We want to celebrate our commitment in style- whether it’s our first trip down in the aisle or our fifth! When our mothers or grandmothers were young, a woman’s primary role was to get married and raise a family. The other options were considered less-than-ideal, to say the least. Only young, first-time brides wore traditional bridal regalia; everyone else was expected to marry with little fanfare, wearing a suit or simple dress. Thank goodness these archaic mores have been banished to the Dark Ages where they belong!

Today’s bride has the freedom to wear whatever she pleases, but before rushing off to the bridal salon, there are a few fashion tips for every woman to consider, especially moms! You should wear whatever makes you feel beautiful- but how can you be sure you’re not crossing any lines? Your gown- and you- will get rave reviews if:

The gown suits the venue.

Go for glitz and glam for a formal, evening affair. Look for soft chiffons, breezy organzas or romantic lace for destination weddings or outdoor celebrations. Think casual, yet chic for a midday bash.

It compliments your figure.

Choose the style that flatters the figure you have, not the one you used to have, or the one you wish you had.

You remember that comfort counts.

It’s hard to look and feel fab when you can’t breathe, sit, or walk because your dress is too tight or about as supple as a suit of armor.

It’s a reflection of your personal style.

Many women assume that, as a bride, they should sport a veil and be decked out in a big white gown. Although this is certainly a classic bridal vision, it isn’t the optimal look for everyone. Factor in your personality, age, and lifestyle. Your guests will be baffled if you’re covered in crystals from head to hem, when they’ve never seen you wear a single piece of jewelry- much less a gown. Think chic and sophisticated if this is a second or subsequent marriage; leave the Cinderella look for the young, first-time bride. Embrace your maturing beauty and celebrate your motherhood!

Look for matte fabrics and styles that skim your figure. A dress that’s tighter than the skin on a hot dog won’t make you look thinner; it will only highlight your figure flaws-as will shiny fabrics like satin. Well-constructed gowns with multiple linings and boning will help trim the “mommy middle”. Fitted properly, boning-those flexible, sturdy strips used in bras-is not uncomfortable and will provide welcome support to strapless dresses, while nipping in the waistline area. It’s perfectly acceptable to wear white, but a soft ivory, cream, ecru, or blush pink may be even more flattering to your skin tone. Rather than a full veil, accent your stylish gown with a jeweled hairclip, a wisp of French netting or a fabulous feathered fascinator.

Good riddance to the days of quietly re-marrying (or getting married for the first time)! Your wedding should express who you- and your new family- truly are. Embrace your body and showcase whatever you love most about it. Most importantly: enjoy the day…and Best Wishes to the bride!

Nancy Di Fabbio ran a custom bridal gown business for over 30 years. You can learn more about finding your dream gown in her new book QUEST FOR THE DRESS: Finding Your Dream Gown Without Losing Your Sanity, Friends or Groom, in stores now.