• Skip to content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Shop ModernMom
  • Become An Insider

ModernMom

The premiere destination for moms

  • Parenting
    • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Kids
    • Tweens and Teens
    • ModernMom Monday Videos
  • Cooking
  • Living Healthy
    • Breast Cancer
    • Health & Fitness
    • Body after Baby
    • Beauty
    • Relationships
    • Love
  • Lifestyle
    • Crafts
    • At Home
    • Education
    • Travel
    • Pets
    • Decorate
    • Money
    • Brooke Burke
  • Celebrate
    • Holidays
      • Easter
      • Valentine’s Day
      • New Year’s
      • Christmas
      • Hanukah
      • Halloween
      • Thanksgiving
    • Birthdays
    • Parties
  • Must Have
  • Contests
  • Entertainment

Five Things I’ve Learned as an Autism Dad

June 22, 2015 by kimkaplan Leave a Comment

Below is a blog for Phillip Hain, a dad of a son with autism. I’m reprinting his blog for Father’s Day because it’s valuable and from the heart.

“I’ve been an advocate for my son Andrew since 1996 when he was first diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome at age 3½. There is a great deal of irony in calling myself an advocate because when my wife and I first heard the news that would change our lives, my initial reaction was, “At least he doesn’t have autism,” and I didn’t know what being an advocate meant.

I am simultaneously amused and flattered when people compliment me on my knowledge of the complex system of services we’ve learned to navigate, because neither of us really knew where to start or what to do. I tell them that everything we know was acquired through asking lots of questions, persistence, and the simple desire to give our son the best possible life — without knowing what that was. I’ve learned a few things on this path.

Progress can’t be predicted

I remember at some point in those early months feeling really depressed as I was watching a television news program in which a toddler was featured as a hero because he dialed 9-1-1 when his mother was having a severe medical issue. My primary thought was, “I wonder if Andrew will ever be able to speak in full sentences and make a phone call.” It’s probably amusing for people who know him to hear that because somewhere around age 10, Andrew insisted on answering the phone every time it rang. That hasn’t changed.

Have faith and trust that they can do more

Andrew loves meeting famous people, which includes local television reporters. Several years ago he saw one was at a nearby shopping mall doing a story the day after Thanksgiving, the busiest retail day of the year. Of course he wanted to go and we told him we had no intention to fight crowds that day and his response was, “I’ll walk there myself.” He was 14, had a cell phone and knew the route. We (reluctantly) said ok, call us when you arrive and keep us posted. It all worked out and he even got the requisite “celebrity” photo.

Be prepared for surprises

Once when Andrew was in high school he did not do well on a test and the teacher told him to take it home and have a parent sign it. What he didn’t calculate was that we were constantly in communication with this teacher, so when he forged his mother’s name, he was caught. While we didn’t approve of his action, we had to celebrate the fact that he did something generally associated with typical kids.

We have a different scale to measure success

When Andrew graduated high school, I was a proud parent in a crowd of 275 proud parents and needed to figure out why I felt different than the others. I realized that for many of their kids graduation was an expected rite of passage, but for special needs families it is not a foregone conclusion. We hope for it but it’s less of a guarantee. Because of what he had overcome I took satisfaction in feeling a bit more pride, and when

I found out his class ranking was right in the middle of the group, that meant he had done better than half of his fellow graduates.

Take a chance

Earlier this year my wife and I planned a 12-day European trip to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary and started making arrangements for Andrew to be with friends when he said he wanted to stay home by himself. We gave it lots of thought and decided to make it work, but not before giving him the names and phone numbers of more than 30 people who offered to take care of any possible emergencies. With thanks to texting and international phone calls, it was a success and a big step towards future independence.

Andrew is currently in community college and his career aspiration is to work in the television industry with the eventual goal of being a game show host. And even though he has the personality to be one, it’s a very competitive field so we can’t predict if that will ultimately become a reality. But whether or not it does happen, our expectations have already been exceeded.”

 

More on Kimberly Kaplan:
To purchase “Two Years Autism Blogs Featured on ModernMom.com” or “A Parentsʼ Guide to Early Autism Intervention” visit Amazon (print or digital) or Smashwords
Twitter: tipsautismmom
LinkedIn: Kimberly Kaplan

Comments

comments

Filed Under: Relationships

About kimkaplan

As Kim and her husband cared for their son with autism, Kim was led back into writing. She wrote about her son's journey with autism which includes her son's struggles, the parental learning curve, their good fortunes...and a myriad of missteps. The resulting book "A Parents' Guide to Early Autism Intervention" has helped many parents with young children on the autism spectrum. She followed that book with another autism-related book, "Two Years of Autism Blogs Featured on ModernMom.com."
Kim continues to be active in the autism world. She blogs weekly for Modernmom.com as well as her own website. Her screenplay writing has blossomed with the addition of many autistic characters. She was featured on Shannon Penrod's show, "Autism Live." She volunteers and attends conferences as well as helps parents whenever she can.

Reader Interactions

Primary Sidebar

Search

Tell a friend

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
ModernMom Boutique

ModernMom TV

Featured

Six Reasons to Have Six Kids

When people hear that I have six kids, the reaction is … [Read More...] about Six Reasons to Have Six Kids

Must Have

STEM-related Toys to Include in Your Child’s Easter Basket This Year 

April has arrived which means it’s time to pull out the food … [Read More...] about STEM-related Toys to Include in Your Child’s Easter Basket This Year 

Did you know?

Baby Brain Development in the Womb

Do You Have to Refrigerate Glazed Donuts?

Do You Have to Refrigerate Glazed Donuts?

Bake Frozen and Pre-Breaded Chicken

How to Bake Frozen and Pre-Breaded Chicken

what type of vitamins help fertility

What Type of Vitamins Help Fertility?

signs of pregnancy

How Long Does It Take to Show Signs of Pregnancy?

Can Self Rising Flour Substitute for Baking Soda?

how much weight should a baby gain

How Much Weight Should a Baby Gain?

Footer

  • About Us
  • Contact ModernMom
  • Advertise With Us
  • Press
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Contributors

Copyright © 2023 Modern Mom. All Rights Reserved.

Reproduction of any portion of this website only at the express permission of Mom, Inc.

The information provided on ModernMom is for educational use only. It should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.