• Skip to content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Shop ModernMom
  • Become An Insider

ModernMom

The premiere destination for moms

  • Parenting
    • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Kids
    • Tweens and Teens
    • ModernMom Monday Videos
  • Cooking
  • Living Healthy
    • Breast Cancer
    • Health & Fitness
    • Body after Baby
    • Beauty
    • Relationships
    • Love
  • Lifestyle
    • Crafts
    • At Home
    • Education
    • Travel
    • Pets
    • Decorate
    • Money
    • Brooke Burke
  • Celebrate
    • Holidays
      • Easter
      • Valentine’s Day
      • New Year’s
      • Christmas
      • Hanukah
      • Halloween
      • Thanksgiving
    • Birthdays
    • Parties
  • Must Have
  • Contests
  • Entertainment

How an AutParent Handles Event Complaints

August 26, 2018 by kimkaplan

How an AutParent Handles Event Complaints

My son attends gaming tournaments. He plays one game in particular, Super Smash Brothers Ultimate.

Honestly, I don’t really know much about the game, nor do I have much interest in any video games. I can (sort of) watch one and (sort of) know what’s going on. I can follow when someone wins/loses.

That’s about the extent of it.

For the most part, when I take my son to these tournaments, I write. I actually get a lot of work done! Sometimes, when it’s been a few hours (these tournaments can go on for hours!), I watch some of my favorite shows, read, or (yes) nap. I spend a lot of this time in my car. When my laptop battery runs out,   I have to find a place to plug in.

I go into the tournament facility and there’s always a place for me to sit and charge my phone. The event organizers are always accommodating.

Some facilities are better than others. Some events are better than others. Some organizers… well you get my point.

My son plays this game with a lot of emotion. A lot of it is anger. He does get so wrapped up in the game, so passionate, and so angry, that he screams and does throw his controller. He also pounds his fists.

Now, when he first began to play in public, he didn’t even know some of the etiquette for tournament play. There was a learning curve.

What I’m discussing here, though, is his emotion, and his struggles with anger while playing this game.

It has created a lot problems. I recently learned that this problem is bigger than I thought.

What am I getting at?

For a long time now, whenever my son played at home, he would get angry if he wasn’t playing well.

This anger created a lot of conflict in our house. My husband and I aren’t crazy about him screaming at his game or throwing his controller.

We have had many fights over this negative behavior. We explained to our son (time and time again) that we strive for a peaceful home. Getting this angry and upset at a game isn’t peaceful.

My son, however, swore that his behavior at tournaments was much better. He swore that he knew (because he was in public) that he had to control himself more so than at home.

I guess my son figured that he had a bit of defense…”I do better in public and that’s more important, isn’t it?” Well, not really.

We had never accepted this defense, even though he tried it many times. We explained to him that decent behavior is expected in both places—at home and at tournaments.

What happened?

I was at a tournament recently, I had come into the venue to charge my laptop, and I was approached by one of the tournament organizers.

This person asked me if I was the parent of this gamer. (My son is a minor and this event organizer knows me. We have attended many of their tournaments.)

This person was not the head of the tournament, nor was it any of the check-in people (they know me). Thinking back on it, I didn’t recognize this person.

Still, he knew who I was. He said to me that my son was seen too often playing with this “emotion.” He was (more or less) warning me that if my son’s behavior (throwing his controller and getting angry) didn’t improve, he was going to be asked to stop attending these tournaments.

I promised this person that my son would improve. He loved playing and would understand that his behavior needs to be acceptable—at home and at tournaments.

I was a bit taken aback. No parent likes to be approached by someone and told that their child’s behavior is causing problems.

It is embarrassing and doesn’t make a parent feel all that great.

However, I also understood what he was saying.

I quickly connected the dots. I was being told that my son wasn’t able to separate at home and at tournament behaviors. He was struggling to be consistent, or rather his defense that he was able to keep it together at tournaments wasn’t quite accurate.

What happened?

My son wasn’t all that pleased to hear this news. He did admit that he “sometimes” got angry. However, he felt that his behavior wasn’t that severe. He was concerned, of course, about the threat to not being able to attend tournaments.

I was able to leverage this into (finally) reaching some approved behavior at home. “If you can’t play without acceptable emotion limits at home than you can’t do it at tournaments (therefore I won’t be taking you to tournaments).

We came to a new understanding. My son has re-committed himself and he’s doing well so far.

As a side note, I approached one of the tournament organizers that I’m friendly with and the organizer hadn’t heard of any need to approach me regarding my son.

She said she would look into it and suggested that since she hadn’t heard of a problem then I shouldn’t worry too much about it.

Additionally, she intimated that the person who approached me might have been a player. I described the person and she wasn’t sure who that was. I told her that I didn’t recognize the person.

How do we move forward?

Our son has improved his behavior at home and he promises (and promises and promises) that his tournament behavior will not be a problem ever again.

I will continue to take him to tournaments. We both enjoy going (for our own reasons). I can only hope that things improve.

How an AutParent Handles Event Complaints

 

More on Kimberly Kaplan:

To purchase “Two Years Autism Blogs Featured on ModernMom.com”

or “A Parentsʼ Guide to Early Autism Intervention” visit Amazon (print or digital) or Smashwords

Twitter: tipsautismmom

LinkedIn: Kimberly Kaplan

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

comments

Filed Under: Uncategorized

About kimkaplan

As Kim and her husband cared for their son with autism, Kim was led back into writing. She wrote about her son's journey with autism which includes her son's struggles, the parental learning curve, their good fortunes...and a myriad of missteps. The resulting book "A Parents' Guide to Early Autism Intervention" has helped many parents with young children on the autism spectrum. She followed that book with another autism-related book, "Two Years of Autism Blogs Featured on ModernMom.com."
Kim continues to be active in the autism world. She blogs weekly for Modernmom.com as well as her own website. Her screenplay writing has blossomed with the addition of many autistic characters. She was featured on Shannon Penrod's show, "Autism Live." She volunteers and attends conferences as well as helps parents whenever she can.

Reader Interactions

Primary Sidebar

Tell a friend

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Search

ModernMom Boutique

ModernMom TV

Featured

spot a child molester

The Stranger You Know: How to Spot a Child Molester’s Tricks

Do you think you would be able to tell if a sexual predator … [Read More...] about The Stranger You Know: How to Spot a Child Molester’s Tricks

Must Have

winter

Pre-Holiday Must-Haves

"It's beginning to look  a lot like Christmas..." The … [Read More...] about Pre-Holiday Must-Haves

Did you know?

Health Benefits of Drinking Kombucha

The Health Benefits of Drinking Kombucha

Natural Remedies to Increase Sperm Count

Natural Remedies to Increase Sperm Count

Do You Have to Refrigerate Glazed Donuts?

Do You Have to Refrigerate Glazed Donuts?

How Does IVF Work

How Does IVF Work?

average breast size of a woman

The Average Breast Size of a Woman

what type of vitamins help fertility

What Type of Vitamins Help Fertility?

abdominal discomfort during first trimester of pregnancy

Abdominal Discomfort During First Trimester of Pregnancy

Footer

  • About Us
  • Contact ModernMom
  • Advertise With Us
  • Press
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Contributors

Copyright © 2021 Modern Mom. All Rights Reserved.

Reproduction of any portion of this website only at the express permission of Mom, Inc.

The information provided on ModernMom is for educational use only. It should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.