I’m in a weird life phase right now. Half of my friends are married and have kids (I will furthermore refer to my “friends with kids” as FWKs), while half are still swiping right and probably years away from nuptials (this group will now be called “NKY” friends – No Kids Yet.) Past that, my husband and I bought our first home last year and officially live in suburbia. We have two toddlers to our left, four behind us, three across the street, basically we’re surrounded by little ones.
Here’s probably the part where I should mention that my husband and I don’t have any kids, yet. It’s just us and our “furr-child” for the time being.
So, living in a neighborhood completely surrounded by amazing young families has left us labeled as “that one couple”. Literally though, we’re the ONE NKY couple in the neighborhood. As you can probably imagine, it’s one of our top “frequently asked questions” these days. If heaven forbid I don’t have a glass of wine in my hand, I hear, “Ooohh, Lexie, is there something you want to tell us?” On the other hand, I hear myself dishing out “we don’t have kids yet because…” excuses and or defense mechanisms (call it what you may) left and right.
Here ARE my excuses (reasons), by the way. First, I’m 28 and personally feel like “my ovaries still have time.” Second, I am a new business owner and feel like THAT is currently my baby. Third, my husband and I LOVE to travel and know when the littles come along that will become a whole lot harder. Fourth…because we feel that life-willing, we are entitled to have a choice.
Here’s where this article officially gets to its main point…
We 100% respect every single one of our friends who either didn’t have the luxury of making a choice, OR, made the incredible decision to start a family. We are ALL for it. We LOVE kids.
So, here’s my ask.
Just because we are the NKY couple, don’t immediately assume that we “can’t” or “don’t want to hang.” I have learned in the last couple of years that some parents feel self-conscious about inviting their NKY friends over for whatever reason. I understand there is an aspect of “we’re at different life phases, therefore, you can’t relate to us,” but how about you let us try? If we fail, fair game – halt the invites. However, please oh please, stop assuming NKY-ers don’t want to see you. WE DO.
Also, let me bring up this other point. There are a million other things we have the potential to “relate” over. For example, nature fan? I came across a great family-friendly hike the other day. Annoying coworker? Been there. HGTV fan? GIRL, Home Goods is also my not-so-secret obsession. Where are my Mompreneurs at?? Let’s talk business! Exhausted? Me too, but here’s MY why. Want to talk about our local Target remodel? Cause I sure do! Not sure how to balance work with a new baby? Guess what, I have 20 successful “biz besties” on speed dial. I’m more than happy to intro you for advice. Need a new hobby? Check out this cool crafting kit I found at Michaels last month. And if none of the above sparks your interest, guess what, I’d love to talk about your kids, truly.
At the end of the day, I’m not naïve to the fact that I’m a NKY friend and, therefore, we may not have the same type of relationship as your FWK next door. However, I’d still like to have one. And guess what, your NKY friend (come on, think of her, you know you have at least one), she probably does too.
Here’s my CTA – invite her next time <3