Mom’s Dictionary of Meanings


In many ways, moms have their own special language.

When you have children, your life changes forever, and you suddenly find that your conversations are more often about vomit and bodily fluids than current events and world issues. 

Luckily, there are some laughs along the way. So to help all the new moms out there, we’ve got a very special dictionary of words that have special meanings for mothers:

Mom’s Dictionary

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Show off: Any child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything

Verbal: Able to whine in words

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

What would you add to this list?

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