Til death do us part, or so it is supposed to be when you get married. However, in today’s world more and more people are looking at marriage as a disposable option. Often, women get mixed signals from their husbands and wonder if they are going to be the next one in divorce court. Sometimes the answer is yes and sometimes it is just a matter of old-fashioned paranoia that is easily dealt with through a long talk with your husband. But, first you have to understand how to know when your husband wants a divorce or is at least thinking about one.
Evaluate your marriage. Divorce isn’t an overnight decision; you don’t wake up one morning and decide you’re tired of being married. Usually, the signs have been in place for some time and either you didn’t recognize them or you chose not to confront them out of fear. Make a list of things that you have seen or see happening in your marriage that are out of the ordinary. For instance, do you and your spouse fight or argue more often than usual? Does your husband avoid spending alone time with you? Working later hours? Does he refuse to talk about your marital issues? Does he seem angry and frustrated in the marriage?
Questions like these and others that are signs of trouble can be found on Should I Divorce Him and CBS News. Use the answers to these questions to decide whether or not it is your imagination or if there truly might be trouble looming. (See Resources for links)
Fill out online tests that evaluate your marriage. These might seem like gimmicks to some people but many are based on psychology and can prove to be valid. The Divorce Test is one such test. It was designed by a marriage counselor who says it will help determine if your marriage is on the right track. If the answers come back showing that your marriage is in trouble it might be time to move on to the next step. (See Resources for link)
Look for the obvious signs. Unfounded anger and resentment, lingering perfume that isn’t yours, lipstick on the collar, odd phone calls at all hours of the day and night that hang up when you answer, voice mails from divorce attorneys or real estate agents. These are some signs that don’t need further explanation and are usually easily visible. In addition, check for bank withdrawals – large sums of money could mean that he is planning to make an exit.
Confront your husband. If you believe your marriage is in trouble and believe it is worth saving then confront your husband. Ask him if he is unhappy and doesn’t want to be with you. Find out if there is anything the two of you can do to make your marriage work. If you want the marriage to work suggest that you get counseling and try to solve your problems. When bringing this up to your husband, try to do so in a non-confrontational manner as it will only make matters worse. Also, try not to be accusatory in your tone. It is easier to discuss than it is to confront and argue.