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Divorce & Dating

January 24, 2010 by ModernMom Staff Leave a Comment

According to DivorceStatistics.org, approximately 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Dating the second time around differs from your pre-marriage dating experiences. Whether you have children at home, grown children or are childfree, you will face challenges. Dating—before or after the divorce is final—must be balanced with your parenting responsibilities, legal issues, financial situation and emotional stability.

Children

Divorce is difficult for the entire family. If you have young kids at home, they will have to make many adjustments in their lives, often including living in two different places. The security of having two parents in one home is shattered, and children typically act out in response. They often need extra attention and reassurance during this time; new people in your life may make them feel threatened, jealous or abandoned.

Considerations

Most states have “no-fault” divorce, and dating is not a legal issue. The appropriateness of dating depends on how long you have been separated, what your lawyer advises and how you feel, according to DivorceInfo.com. Organizing your home, work and financial arrangements take most of your time and energy—dating amid the emotional turmoil may drain you emotionally and physically.

Psychological Issues

No matter how much you might have wanted the divorce, residual emotions and pain linger after the breakup. As a married couple, you made decisions together, such as plans for the future, special purchases, parenting issues and trips. When this way of life comes to a screeching halt, the recovery period may be long lasting. Support groups geared for divorced people allow you to share and vent about the loss and uncertainty you feel.

Rebound Relationship

The first relationship after divorce can be very exciting and enlightening. An exciting new person can add joy, love and support through a difficult time. Newly single people may be anxious to connect romantically with another person, jumping into a relationship for the wrong reasons. Rebound relationships often run their course, and are part of the healing process, reports DivorceInfo.com.

Friends

Friendships often suffer in the aftermath of divorce. Couples you were friends with while married may feel pressured to choose sides, and some may ally with your ex-spouse. Friendship loss is painful and disorienting, but as you find a new job or activities—something you’ve always wanted to do or never had the courage to try—you will meet people with fresh perspectives on life.

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