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Is It Time To File for Divorce?

January 24, 2010 by ModernMom Staff Leave a Comment

There are many reasons why people want to end their marriage, but many problems can be worked out with outside help. Unfortunately, there are issues that are serious enough to cause one of the partners to head for divorce court. Some couples hold off on divorce until the children are older or finances are in order. Often, addressing disturbing issues in the partnership and owning up to mistakes can save a marriage. The key is try to prevent things from going overboard.

Infidelity

Most marriages start out with two people planning to be faithful to each other. If one partner starts to drift, comes to his senses and does not confess, no damage is done at that time. Finding out about your partner’s infidelity can devastating and cause for divorce, Ygoy.com reports. Forgiveness and getting help from a counselor might avoid divorce. Infidelity is often a symptom of many other problems in the marriage.

Abuse

Abuse is one issue that cannot be solved without intense outside help. Physical or mental abuse cannot be ignored; it is often recurring. Many abusers beg forgiveness and go back to their abusive ways at some point. Being the victim or watching your children being abused is unacceptable and no person should take this lightly!

Gambling

If one partner is involved in addictive gambling, it can create many problems. The compulsive gambler needs outside help from a professional therapist or Gamblers Anonymous. It is difficult admitting to being a compulsive gambler, even when the bills are not being paid or the house is going into foreclosure.

Alcoholism

Before marriage, being a “party person” is often attractive to the opposite sex. The marriage brings responsibilities, financial issues, children and daily problems, which can be further cause for the drinking to escalate. Dealing with an alcoholic brings many life-altering challenges such as DWIs, abusive behavior, depression and embarrassing actions. If your partner does not get professional help–counseling or Alcoholic Anonymous meetings one has to think about if they can accept living with an abusive person for the rest of their lives and really be honest with themselves.

Other Issues

There are many reasons people want to divorce that are not as serious as the top four. These problems can often be worked out with professional counseling as long as both people want to save the marriage — that is key. Conflicts over money can be disastrous when one partner feels privileged to spend whatever he wants. There may be differences in personal and career goals that can often be talked out. Household tasks and responsibilities may not sound serious but can be when one partner does not cooperate. Lack of flexibility on a continuing basis can be very difficult to live with. When there is no communication, and one person claims to be right all the time, constant bickering will occur. Eventually, a marriage in that situation is likely to crumble.

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