Like many things in life, divorce is a process. A final divorce decree may put an end to the paperwork and legal formalities, but moving forward and readjusting your life may require considerable time and effort. While divorce causes considerable financial upheaval and emotional distress, it also creates the opportunity for new experiences and exciting challenges. Adjusting to your life after divorce requires plenty of patience, continued effort and a desire to move forward.
Emotional Upheaval
Divorce is a major life change that causes strong emotions. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of your marriage. The end of your marriage means the end of your future together, as well as your current lifestyle. Many women experience sadness, loss of self-esteem and feelings of anxiety. These emotions can continue for a long time after your divorce decree. Seek the strong shoulders of friends and family to help you through this difficult, emotional process. A professional counselor or therapist may also help you deal with your sadness and anxiety.
Family Changes
Divorce means a new family structure. You are now single, rather than half of a couple. Your parenting role may change and fluctuate between visitation schedules. At times, you may need to play the role of both mother and father. Depending on your custody agreement, you may need to adjust to your children being gone for long periods of time.
Friends and Social Life
Some friends and relatives may take sides, favoring your ex-husband over you. Although this can add to your distress, focus on the friends that support you and provide encouragement. This is also an opportunity to make new friends and try new activities. If you feel isolated and alone, try joining a club, trying some new activities or taking some classes to learn new skills and meet people.
Financial Considerations
Many women worry about their financial situations. Life after divorce may present a number of challenges, including a blow to your pocketbook. Protect your assets by seeking the professional advice of a financial adviser. Although the optimal time to do this is before you sign your divorce agreement, it is never too late to reassess your spending and saving. Create a new budget and prioritize your expenses to meet your new financial status.
Your New Identity
Divorce can change the way you feel about yourself and affect your identity. You may wonder who you are and what role you play in the lives of others. You experience a desire to redefine yourself and explore who you are and understand what is important to you. Life after divorce allows an opportunity for growing, exploring introspective thoughts and defining your values.
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