Good sex is extremely important for all couples. Though your libido may ebb and flow over the years, you should aim to make sex a priority, because the physical intimacy can make you feel mentally and emotionally closer as well. Most people have to work at having a good sexual relationship, so don’t feel badly if your sex life isn’t exactly what you want.
Many women need some type of clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm during sex; not all sexual positions allow this to happen. The woman-on-top position offers a great opportunity for you to stimulate your clitoris against his pelvic bone. You may also enjoy the doggy-style position, where his penis can hit your G-spot–a sensitive area in the front of your vagina. Ask him to reach around and play with your clitoris in this position or do it yourself.
Men enjoy positions that allow for deep penetration and tightness. One way to get this is to have the woman lying down with her legs up in the air at a 90-degree angle. This allows for deep penetration and, because her legs are together, it feels tighter. Also, don’t forget lubricant – a drop of K-Y pleasure gels can increase comfort and heighten sensation.
Though you may feel shy about introducing them into your life, sex toys can make for a fantastic time. Using a vibrator, a man can easily stimulate your clitoris while he is thrusting. A cock ring slips around the man’s erection, which can help him stay hard longer. You may also enjoy a little bit of light dominance, using handcuffs or ropes to tie your partner down.
Communication is essential for good sex. Both partners should feel comfortable sharing their sexual needs and desires. You have to tread carefully to avoid hurt feelings, though. Rather than talking about the things in your sex life that disappoint you, focus on the things that you want to happen. Psychotherapist Kali Munro suggests that these discussions occur outside the bedroom.
Acting out fantasies is a sure way to spice things up. Role playing is a common fantasy, where both parties pretend to be different people. Dressing up in costumes increases the reality. You may also want to try a new position, spanking or a new location. Discuss your fantasies with your partner. Be respectful of his fantasies, even though you may not share them. You don’t have to follow through on a fantasy if you’re not interested.
Stress can contribute to a low sex drive and bad sex. As partners, you should work together to decrease stress levels. For example, you should both feel free to talk about stressful situations at work, which can be a way to let off steam. You should also both share in the household duties.
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