Although you would hope that dealing with guys, love and relationships would get easier the older and more experienced you become, such isn’t always the case. You may not be sure how to meet the man of your dreams or how to hold on to him when you do. Once you’re in a relationship, navigating through it can be difficult and full of ups and downs.
Find Mr. Right (Or Mr. Good Enough)
Many women find meeting a decent guy to be tricky, especially after they’ve finished college and no longer have that built-in social structure of dorm and campus life. Before you hit up singles’ nights at your local bar or try speed dating, brainstorm better ways to meet a guy. You can sign up for an art or foreign language class. You’ll already have at least one common interest with any guy you’d meet there. The gym may also be a good place to meet someone. If all else fails, ask your friends to set you up on a date or sign up for an online dating service.
Let the Little Things Slide
You and your guy won’t agree on everything. He may even have some habits that annoy you. Unless his habits are particularly dangerous or socially destructive, such as he likes to make snide comments to anyone he meets, learn to ignore the little things. You may even want to come up with a way to compromise about the small quirky habits you each have. For instance, let him leave his dirty dishes in the sink, as long as you get to spend 20 minutes standing in front of the mirror daily.
Keep Your Distance
It’s important that you and your guy maintain your own separate lives. While you may want to think of your husband or boyfriend as the person you do everything with, many times being too close can make your relationship suffer. If you are constantly whining to a guy about your menstrual cramps or seeking him out for fashion advice, your sex life may suffer, since you’ll come to view each other more as friends than as lovers. Additionally, spending too much time together can lead to boredom. Keep the spark alive by going off on a weekend trip with just your girlfriends or by taking up a new hobby by yourself.
Be Realistic About Expectations
Sometimes, a couple will be headed in two different directions. Many times, they will not want to confront the issue until it is too late. If you hope to marry your current guy, you need to know if he is on the same page. If you’re just looking for a no-strings-attached physical relationship, then you need to let him know that as well. If a guy makes it clear to you from the start that he doesn’t want to get married or have children, don’t expect to change his mind. If those are things you want, it’s best to cut yourself loose before you get too involved.
When you first start seeing someone, you may have a difficult time keeping your hands off him. As your relationship goes on, however, you may find yourself less interested in sex. Physical closeness is an important part of any love relationship and you may find that you’ll have to work at it to maintain a level of intimacy with your guy. Make sex a regularly scheduled event in your lives. Also, make it a point to touch your partner, either by rubbing his back, holding his hand or cuddling on the couch as often as you can. Physical touch draws you together and will strengthen your relationship.
- red rose and rose-petals image by NatUlrich from Fotolia.com