When a divorce occurs, many friends and family members come to the aid of the purportedly wounded woman and try to help her transition into her new way of living. Men, on the other hand, are commonly thought to be strong and self-sufficient, even in the face of this major life change. In truth, men often feel the pain of divorce just as acutely as women and must work just as hard to deal with the new life circumstances that accompany the end of a marriage.
Make the Leap
Most couples do not make the decision to end their marriage lightly. As the Family Education website reports, deciding to divorce is not a cowardly decision. Instead, it is a brave one that requires dedication and commitment to serious life change. When you do decide to divorce, don’t waffle in your decision when the going gets tough. Instead, push through the difficult times and remember that it will all work out, regardless of how hopeless it may seem at the moment.
If you are like many men, you likely feel that you are the strong, powerful, king of your castle. Upon divorcing, you may find that you actually depended upon your wife more than you realized. Things like cooking, cleaning and carrying for the children that were once performed by your wife will now fall upon your shoulders. As you work to become independent of your wife, expect these changes and face the added challenges of daily living head-on to increase the speed with which you can deal with your divorce.
While you shouldn’t stay in a marriage simply for the financial benefits, it is important to remember that choosing to divorce will likely have a major impact on your pocketbook. Families, particularly ones in which both adults work, necessarily produce more income than single individuals. Even if you do support your family alone, you will suffer financially as you have to provide money for child-support or alimony. When men divorce, their standard of living decreases 42 percent, reports “Psychology Today Magazine.” This noticeable life difference may take some adjustment time and could result in bouts of debt-induced depression.
Let It Out
When dealing with the grief and sense of loss that commonly accompanies divorce, men have an added challenge. Unlike their female counterparts, men often feel hesitant to allow their emotional turmoil to show and, in an attempt to hide their feelings, bottle up their negative emotions, reports the MensLine Australia website. For men who choose this course, coming to terms with a divorce can be even more difficult. Even though you are likely eager to move on and forget about your heartbreak, it is important to remember that letting your emotions out is cathartic and an important part of the healing process.
Reclaim Your Dating Game
Depending upon the length of your marriage, dating after divorce can seem like stepping foot onto completely foreign soil. Do not let your lack of contemporary dating experience to keep you sidelined. Instead, reach out to friends who are currently in the hunt for a mate and ask them for advice. Call up old friends who you may have lost touch with while you were shrouded in wedded bliss, and hit the town. When you do go out on post-divorce dates, don’t spend the entire night filling the woman in on the dirty details of your divorce. Try to check your baggage at the door. Enter the dating arena unfettered by past romantic experiences.
- wedding ring image by drx from Fotolia.com