It can be easy to see everything that is stacked up against you. Money is tight, you work too much, the housework is never ending. You have two choices – you can see it as a challenge to overcome, or you can feel sorry for yourself. If you consciously choose the positive mindset, it will start to come naturally. Before you let something weigh you down, take a moment and think of your options. Do you want to be angry and sad or do you want to take action and be happy? Being a single parent has unique challenges. Instead of dwelling on them, come up with unique solutions, and the world will start to look brighter!
Choosing the Positive
Last week my son turned ten years old. Last week was also my son’s week with his father. Somehow the stars have always aligned in my favor, and I have had the pleasure of being the custodial parent so far on every birthday until this year. It broke my heart to think that my son may not get the same special birthday treatment at his dad’s house that I would give him. So I had two choices – I could let it bring me down, or I could choose the positive and come up with a good alternative. I chose the positive.
Find a Way Around Obstacles
There are obstacles in life that you can’t change. There will always be some sort of situation that you sheer willpower will not change. Not having custody of my son on his birthday was an obstacle. But just because I could not change the situation didn’t mean that there wasn’t a way around the obstacle. I went to my sons’ school early the morning of his birthday and took cupcakes to his classroom so his peers could celebrate later in the day. I also left a birthday card on his desk letting him know how proud I was to be his mom. He was just entering the school as I was leaving, and I got to wish him a Happy Birthday earlier than I anticipated! The evening of Christian’s birthday, his dad agreed to let me pick him up and take him out for a birthday dinner.
Put it in Perspective
Sure, I may have not have the entire day with my son, nor did I get to sing him Happy Birthday to wake him up that morning, but I got to spend time with him. I found a way around my problem, and made the situation a positive one. Instead of just seeing one parent on his birthday, Christian got to celebrate with both of us.
Be a Positive Influence on Your Kids
Taking a moment before committing to giving in is simple, and it is life changing. All you have to do is choose to take a positive approach. This is especially important with dealing with children. Don’t you want to choose to be a positive influence on them? Don’t give in and breed negativity. Just pause, take a deep breath, and choose the positive. The solution may not come immediately, but the smiles will!
About the Author
Brooke Billings is a single mom of an awesome 9 year old boy navigating the worlds of parenthood, dating and writing. Brooke is the editor of Single Parent magazine, and co-founder of ModernSingleParents.net, a revolutionary new social network for single parents. Brooke is also a featured expert writer on multiple single parent websites. As a child raised mostly by a single parent, Brooke is passionate about supporting single parents and helping single parents realize their potential. Brooke has been co-parenting her 9 year old son with his father since 2002, and is happy to be in a place where the relationships are enjoyable for everyone involved. Brooke and her son enjoy the blessings of living in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, as well as urban adventures and entertaining friends and family. You can contact Brooke at: firstname.lastname@example.org, and follower her on twitter @brookeb4