Cheating husbands are ALL over the media and in the majority of cases, what goes down in your own home is very different than the way it plays out on Access Hollywood — thank goodness. Imagine being up for public consumption and opinion on top of all the humiliation? Here’s how to get the ultimate advantage when your husband cheats.
Gathering the necessary evidence of infidelity does not only go a long way in helping the wife to understand the true nature of her relationship with her husband but its that particular evidence that is necessary if divorce is a consideration. The evidence of infidelity can be critical to a women’s success in obtaining a fair settlement and in some states proving grounds for the divorce. Gaining factual, legally viable evidence of the affair is not only necessary but it’s what gives a woman the advantage.
Keep a Private Journal of Suspicions
Women really do seem to have a sixth sense about infidelity so once you begin to suspect, start writing down those suspicions. Give as much detail as possible about why you suspect the affair. Take notes that include your suspicions with times, dates and your observations. Make sure to keep this hidden even if you have to ask for a friend’s help in holding the journal for you.
Talk to An Attorney
Even if you have no concrete proof your husband is having an affair or are unsure about divorce, seek the consultation of an attorney. Most attorneys offer a free consultation and you can use this time to assess your situation, gather some legal advice and see what kind of evidence the attorney recommends you have to prove divorce if your suspicions turn out to be true.
Become an Investigator
Gathering evidence legally is really the only way to go. If you do something that is considered illegal to gather the evidence, it’s not going to help you in court and it could cost you in the long run. That doesn’t mean there isn’t anything that you can do though. If you share joint bank accounts, keep an eye on spending and where the money is being spent. Watch for receipts left in pants pockets. If his cell phone is accessible, taking a look is okay but be careful you don’t get caught. If his cell phone is in your name or you have a joint account, calling the company to ask for an itemized accounting of the calls is okay. If you are not on his account, there is no way outside of a court order for you to legally obtain this information. The same applies to his computer and placing a GPS tracker on his vehicle. If your name is on the vehicle or the computer is joint property, than you have a right to place a GPS tracker on his vehicle and tracking software on his computer. If this is not common property or it’s solely in his name, you have no legal right to place a GPS tracker or sweep his computer.
Play it Cool
The longer you are able keep your suspicions a secret, the longer you will be able to gain evidence. Letting him know you suspect something could cause him to change his routine, which makes gathering evidence harder. Be careful who you tell as well. While you definitely need emotional support, if the women you turn to for support are all wives of your husband’s golf buddies, that’s probably not the way to go. Seek a professional counselor or someone you can trust in keeping your information private.
When All Else Fails, Hire a Private Investigator
Most likely, the very same attorney you consulted will have a list of licensed and reputable private investigators. A private investigator is a neutral third party who knows the laws and can work with you to legally gain evidence for you. They can be your eyes and ears while doing surveillance and obtaining video and photographic evidence you can utilize in court.
About the Author
Stacy Jones is a private investigator with Mission Possible Investigations. She has been an investigator for over 10 years with an investigative specialty in cases of child abuse, child custody, cheating spouses and criminal defense. Stacy has also written articles for PI Magazine.