The Baby is Finally Sleeping — Now the Neighbors are Having the Loudest Sex!
5 mins read

The Baby is Finally Sleeping — Now the Neighbors are Having the Loudest Sex!

Oh. My. Gawd. This is not really happening to me. I have been up at all hours of the night for seven months straight with my newborn baby, she is FINALLY sleeping through the night without any night-feedings, now this: I’ve got a new neighbor that’s just moved in that has the loudest, most obnoxious sex I’ve ever heard in my life– at 3am several times a week! ARGH! I’m going to lose it. What do I do?

Baby’s Sleeping

My husband and I were in pure sleep-through-the-night heaven when just a few weeks ago, our seven month old baby girl started magically sleeping through the night. When we woke up from her sounds “eh, ehh, ehhh (note — she was NOT crying) and we looked at the alarm clock it said 6:35 am — not 2:15 am, not 4am, a very decent 6:35 am. We looked at one another in awe and slapped a big high five. Holy crap — finally! The first night she’s slept all the way through without middle of the night feedings. Amazing.

How it Happened

Now, let me rewind for a second. It took us a loooong to sleep train her: Our doctor told us we could start at 14 pounds, and as soon as she hit that mark, we began: We tried EVERYTHING : We hired a coach to teach us how to wean her off the bottle at night, we bought an ocean sound machine, we let her cry it out, we fed her water instead of milk, we followed many popular books — nothing worked for us. Our baby would occasionally have several hours at a time she would sleep but it was never consistent. Then, when this happened — alas, there was hope!

OMG. We Can’t Believe She’s Really Sleeping!

That night, we hoped and prayed that she would do it again. We followed the exact same routine we did the night before, put her down at the same time and — YUP, she did it again! Our lives had forever changed. Our baby was sleeping through the night. Pfft, we knew it would happen at some point, we just didn’t realize it was going to take THIS long. My hubby and I went to bed every night at 9 sharp so we could catch up on the many hours lost while we were wandering the nights…Ahhhhh. Wonderful!

Cut to: We Have a New Neighbor

Our neighborhood is relatively quiet — it’s certainly not a “party” type atmosphere, and recently some new neighbors have moved into the building next door. They CLEARLY must not have any kids when you hear the following story: At roughly 3am, I was shaken out of my very deep comfortable sleep by some of the most horrendous, violent, disgusting orgasm groans I have ever heard in my entire life. It was a porno times five thousand. WTF. I jumped out of bed and paced through the house to figure out where it was coming from. “HER!” I thought to myself. It could only be the new lady that just moved in — I had never prior heard noises like that before, and trust me I’ve been up at night to hear them!

I Am Going to Tell Her!

Needless to say I didn’t get back to bed, because the groans lasted from about 3-5 (two hours of sex??? Who DOES that??!), and I was so worked up that I just thought I’d wait for my baby to wake up and do some work in the meantime. Ugh. The next night I go to bed thinking there’s no way this is going to happen two nights in a row, I mean, who is having sex two nights in a row?! No-one. Right? Wrong.

Another 3am Wake-Up Call

She is literally SCREAMING this lady, I mean it is so obnoxious and it’s again 3 o’clock in the morning. I open the door to the porch, go outside in my pajamas and at the top of my lungs yell “shut the f uuuuuuup”. She doesn’t stop. They go at it for another few hours and though I get a lot of work done, I am again…not sleeping. I am SO upset that I finally got my baby to sleep through the night, and now I’m going to be going to bed every night wondering if I’m going to be getting a disgusting wake-up call. At this point, I’d rather the baby be crying than having to hear that nasty s*@t!


What do I do? I cannot live like this anymore!

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments