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My Four Year Old Girl Wants to Dress Like A Boy. Help!

June 28, 2010 by Madison Pados Leave a Comment

My four-year-old girl only wants to wear boy clothes. She has absolutely no interest in dresses, and in fact, she wants to dress like a boy all the time kind of like Angelina Jolie’s kid. On one hand, there isn’t anything necessarily wrong with it – but on the other hand it makes me nervous. What do I do?

Pants Only!

My daughter NEVER wants to wear a dress or skirt, she always wants to wear shorts like her older brothers do, or pants. She wants her hair short and her baseball cap backwards. When we are out and about people ask me: “How old is he?” Now, I’m torn because I love the girly girl clothing, but she’s always been like this — ever since she formed an opinion (around 2 years old). Do I make her wear girl clothes? I see Angelina and Brad’s little girl, Shiloh, and she completely looks like a boy, and my little one is starting to look like this too! I hate it, but I am torn as to what to do.

Short Hair

The latest incident we ran into is that she wants to chop her beautiful long curls off. She wants short hair: Not a bob, not longish short hair, but boy-ish short hair. She doesn’t want to brush it, she just wants to get up and go, like her brothers do. Right now, she tucks all of her curls underneath her baseball cap, so it looks like she has short hair anyway, but I am heartbroken at the thought of her really chopping that long gorgeous hair. She is FOUR years old! Does she have a say in how she cuts her hair, or do I tell her she cannot cut it?!

What if Our Boy Wanted to Dress Like A Girl?

It’s easy for girls to dress like boys, because it’s already acceptable for them to wear pants and/or shorts. But there is definitely a point where girls can start to look too masculine — and mine is getting there! But, what if your boy wanted to wear dresses all the time, would that be any different? Would you hold a different standard for your boy than your girl? Does it mean you are raising a kid that’s likely going to be gay?

Help

I am so torn over what to do. Part of me just wants to tell her she absolutely cannot cut her hair and if she still feels the same way when she’s twelve, come talk to me again. But on the other hand, shouldn’t I let her express herself and become who she’s meant to be? Moms, what is your advice?

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Filed Under: Parenting

About Madison Pados

Madison is a prolific writer who has been contributing to ModernMom since 2010. She has 4 children and has taken a long hiatus from her 'real job' as an educational psychologist to spend more time with her kids. She loves cooking, organizing, exercising, traveling and stealing a little me-time when she can.

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