I want to share a review about my book by CafeMom, a site I love that and can relate to. Especially now, with the most important day of the year for lovers right around the corner. But who needs a holiday to celebrate romance, right? I must admit that I enjoy Valentine’s Day more than my own birthday…I’ll take any excuse I can get to turn up the heat! Listen up ladies…
“Most women give up a lot to become mothers, and the lover always seems to be the first part of a mom’s identity to go AWOL … Sexuality and motherhood are not mutually exclusive.” -Brooke Burke for The Naked Mom
I LOVE that Brooke is calling attention to a particularly challenging aspect of being a mom — one that all too often flies under the radar. I hear it from my friends, and I feel it in my own life. We have so much to do and never enough hours in the day. Because of this, we end up consciously or subconsciously feeling guilty for prioritizing our sexual desires.
But Brooke says we have to kick those feelings to the curb! She argues that we NEED our erotic lives, because sex is a much-deserved break from the "give, give, give nature of motherhood." (Even if you’re not a mom, you have to admit, as women — we have that tendency to give, give, give to our bosses, our boyfriends, our family, etc.
“The traits that make women such great moms (like generosity, playfulness, devotion, imagination, etc.) also contribute to them being amazing lovers — and vice versa! The key, it seems, is to tap into that rich complexity of womanhood and acknowledge that …Behind many a sweet, wholesome mom … there is a feral woman. A carnal self, a sort of secret slut. She is you, unfiltered, unedited, unapologetic.” -an excerpt from The Naked Mom
She is so right! We can’t let our sexual selves slip away because of stress, work, a laundry list of to-dos that stretches from here to China, or just because motherhood happened. We have to keep it real, as 3-D, sex-y women. Sex is a centerpiece to our overall mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
So, thanks, Brooke Burke! Because of your new book, hopefully some always-dressed ladies will think differently about the necessity of getting Naked.
Thank you CafeMom for sharing your thoughts, and for recognizing the importance of knowing your Lover is just as important as the Mother.
Truly, you cannot forget who you were before you became parents. David and I are not willing to give up our desire and commitment to passion, and we definitely didn’t trade that in for kids. It’s about making a commitment to each other, nurturing our relationship as we do our children, and taking time for us. I know it’s easier said than done, you have to create your moments, find the energy and tap into that sensual woman who may have been hiding beneath Mrs. Mommy.
Last week David surprised me with a romantic lunch for 2, a great bottle of French wine and an impromptu trip to the intimate apparel store. Now I know some may say ultimately that was a gift for himself…But any way you look at it, it got us in a playful mood, and made me feel like his girlfriend again, not just the mother of many children. Then I came home, got rid of many of my baggy grey sweats, (not my favs that feel just as good as silk to me), threw out my dreary old frumpy robe, and tossed my mix n match, not-so-cute bra and panties. On some days, no matter what I am wearing I feel sexy knowing that I have on something beautiful underneath. When asked when I feel the sexiest, I shared in my book: ”in the arms of the man I love, drenched in the morning sunlight, wearing his comfiest old t-shirt.” That’s still true, it’s about how I feel inside, when I’m with him, no matter what I’m wearing. But it sure is fun to dress up like a sensual goddess from time to time…If you ask him more often than not PLEASE!
Don’t lose your sense of adventure, ever! Celebrate every day like it’s Valentine’s Day!