The other day I was in the art supply store and only had four people ask me how many hours I was away from giving birth. I had to pee for the second time so I made my way to the bathroom. While sitting there, wearing my sky blue, cozy, brand new yoga shirt (a splurge for my last month of pregnancy), all of a sudden a familiar, warm, river of a feeling began to stream out of my nose. I put my hand up but it was too late. The bright, red blood had trickled its way down my new shirt; in fact it made a perfect line. It almost looked like the shirt was meant to have one solid red stripe down the front of it. I said almost. After dowsing myself with water and blotting the living daylights out of that baby blue, I came out of the bathroom. I realize now the blotting made me look like there had been a gunshot wound. It was weird, everyone kept looking away in horror. Not sure if they thought I just delivered the baby in the bathroom by myself or what but even if they did think that, what does that say for humankind that no one offered to help!?

I am almost 35 weeks pregnant and the other day my back hurt so badly I thought I had kidney stones. No joke, I almost called 911 in the middle of the night. Turns out I dont have kidney stones, I am having back spasms. I get acupuncture and a massage every couple weeks but it would be better if I had my husband working nightly on these kinks the extra 45 pounds Im carrying is creating. But alas, I dont have a husband or boyfriend, alas I am single and pregnant. Now before anyone breaks out the violins, let me be the first to say, I am not freaking out (most of the time). Other people though are a very different story.