I think my brain has either already shorted out or is experiencing some definite trauma associated with conversations gone unfinished.
My thoughts are frazzled and I can’t remember to whom I have said what. I am completely healthy, my brain is fine, but I am finally facing my reality as a parent.
As shameful as it is to be proud, I will admit that I really used to pride myself on being engaged in conversations and I always remembered with whom I had had a conversation about any particular topic.
I could vividly recall these conversations and did not repeat the same story to the same people. In fact, it used to frustrate me when someone would tell me a story that they had already told me, figuring they didn’t care about our conversation. Now however, I am betting 99% of the people that were repeating stories to me were parents.
A parent’s mind is a cluttered field of continually interrupted thoughts and sentences. I feel as though over the last 5+ years, my brain just got used to incomplete thoughts so now it doesn’t bother forming complete ones anymore.
It is tough to stay on a conversation track particularly if the kids are in the vicinity. With the holidays having just wrapped up, I spent a lot of time with my parents and siblings and their kids and I left not knowing any more about their lives than when I got there.
I know I asked. I’m not sure they answered, they may have, but I probably didn’t hear the answer and I know that the reverse was true as well. They asked me questions, I may have answered, likely not completely, and they may or may not have heard the answer. With little kids around full conversations just aren’t possible.
Thankfully there is email, which is really how I know what is going on with everyone in my family. As terrible as it is, it is better than being out of touch.
I’m sure one day the kids will be into their own things and we’ll wonder where in the house they have all gone off to. I just hope my brain hasn’t become permanently frazzled by then and I’ll be able to revert back to having meaningful conversations.
I know my siblings and their spouses feel the same way. Please tell us we aren’t crazy.