When you think about your relationship, are you completely satisfied? Do you find that you are bored? Well, the good news is that you’re not alone.
In a survey of 3,341 people in monogamous relationships (1,418 men and 1,923 women), a study found that a quarter of respondents were bored in their current relationship. Another 25% reported being on the brink of becoming bored. Do the math. That’s 50% of the respondents surveyed — all BORED.
The biggest threat to relationship satisfaction is boredom, according to the study conducted by Good in Bed and Kristen Mark of Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute.
“Boredom is basically like an attack on a relationship’s immunity system — once weakened, it’s all the more susceptible to a cascade of ailments,” explains Ian Kerner, PhD and renowned sex and relationship expert and founder of Good in Bed. “It’s not a coincidence that a fifth of respondents admitted to being unfaithful to their partner as a result of being bored.”
Certain milestones intensify boredom in a relationship. Here are some of the factors that were cited in the study:
• Getting pregnant (8%)
• Marriage (13.8%)
• Moving in together (15.6%)
• Having kids (32.2%)
• Getting older (38.5%)
But before you lose all hope in the future or your relationship, keep in mind that studies like this have their limitations.
But, even if these numbers do not necessarily reflect the reality of relationships in the U.S., it does reflect some people’s reality. Don’t settle for boredom. It can lead to infidelity and kill off a relationship. If your relationship is on the brink of boredom, it doesn’t mean you can’t revive it.
Here are some tips to overcoming boredom and reawakening the passion you once felt.
1) Do Something Exciting Together.
The sooner you realize this, the better off you’ll be: No relationship stays as exciting as it once began. Many couples tend to take a relationship for granted once the initial excitement has worn off. That’s why you and your partner should continue to do things together that will arouse you — both physically and mentally. Go out on an actual date, just the two of you. Leave the kids at grandma’s house. Leave the kids out of the evening’s conversation all together. Get to know each other all over again. Or, do something completely new altogether. Some ideas: wine tasting, rock climbing, sky diving, dance lessons, make sushi together, etc. Create new memories with each other.
2) Become a Tiger in the Bedroom.
If the bedroom is your relationship’s sore spot, then don’t settle. Do something about it. There’s always something new to try, trust me. This is no time to be timid. Clear the evening’s calendar, visit a sex / lingerie shop and surprise your man with something you know he will like. Role play. Use battery-operated toys. Do that thing he really likes, even though it’s not his birthday. Rediscovering the passion in the bedroom can do wonders for all aspects of your relationship.
3) Talk to Each Other.
Communication is the biggest relationship reviver of them all. So many couples live their lives on autopilot and forget to TALK. If you’re feeling bored, worried, or unhappy, then express your feelings to your partner. Chances are that he can relate. Once that is out in the open, you can work towards reviving the relationship together. It’s a two-person job. If you’re both committed to making it work, then that knowledge alone is a great starting point.
Please share any tips or stories you may have for overcoming boredom in a relationship.