I’ve spent the week trying to explain to my four year old why I have tattoos.

I have two.  Sometimes, because they’re both so amazing, I have trouble picking which one I like best. But at the end of the day, the tropical fish by my crotch is the winner.

Yes. I got a fish tattooed on my body and chose the middle of my hip flexor as the spot. It’s really ugly with bubbles coming out of it’s mouth. I was eighteen, I went with two friends, both of whom had something picked out ahead of time. I got to the parlour and buckled under the pressure, what the heck was I going to pick? So I picked a fish.

I think I might go and get “idiot” tattooed underneath it. Then people can stop asking me why I picked it.

The second one is a star on my foot. I’m okay with it-sometimes. Every now and then someone will say “Did you pick the star because each point is a member of your family”? Um, no. I did it on a whim on a date – completely random.

Anyway, here’s my conversation with my daughter about them:

Malone: Why do you have that permanent mark there? (Pointing to the fish.)

Me: I don’t know.

Malone: It’s permanent, that means it can’t come off, right mom?

Me: Yes.

Malone: Did you do that when you were a teenager or adult?

Me: Teenager, it was a mistake. I wish it wasn’t there.

Malone: Yeah, I think it’s stupid, I’m not going to get one, even when I’m a teenager.

Me: Good ‘Lones. Don’t do it.

Well, it looks like I have taught her another valuable lesson from a mistake I made. Imagine this with bubbles coming out of its mouth. Yes, it’s this bad.

Cheers, cheers

Want to know which famouos moms are inked up? Check out Celebrity Mom Tattoos — Who Has What…