One of my biggest strengths raising my daughter alone is my independence and ability to take care of all the things that go into running a household. But if I’m honest, this is my greatest weakness as well. Sometimes, as a single mom, you need help. And it’s okay. Using your resources makes you smart and, well, resourceful. We need to step outside of our comfort zone and pull others into our circle when the pile of “to-do’s” gets overwhelming.
After all, where did we get that fierce independence from in the first place? Dare I say our mothers…
I can offer a few tidbits of wisdom for embracing some outside help for reluctant single moms out there:
1. Don’t beat yourself up when you can’t do it all. Guess who is watching?
2. Say “no” when you really can’t add more. Allow yourself the gift of margin when it comes to time. Say “yes” when the kind offers come your way.
3. Find a great friend from your inner circle who won’t judge, but who will listen. Every time.
4. Exercise! Even if it means the gym’s childcare or a friend watches your little one.
5. State your needs. With no need to apologize.
6. Be the one reaching out when an opportunity arises and you can help out a fellow parent (single or not).
I researched a few online resources for single moms on the lookout for different forms of help beyond their inner circle. Here are some that seemed more meaty and well-rounded:
1. http://www.singlemom.com/
2. http://www.parentswithoutpartners.org/
3. http://www.singleparentadvocate.org/
One last thought: the best thing I learned about my own circle is that my daughter is an active member, too. In our busy-ness, we often look past our children as true loving support. Her hugs and smiles always make my day!
