Luckily the tide has shifted a bit and we hot mess moms are getting louder and prouder. So in the spirit of honestly here are 10 memes that you most definitely, positivity have said to your kids.
“What Do You Want?!”
Have you ever had an exhausted toddler or preschooler just stand in front of you whining, pointing and throwing down everything you give them in an attempt to appease them? It really isn’t that simple when you have to decode their broken English and try to figure out what they actually want.
“You Can Do it!”
“You can do it!” you say as you proudly stand back and watch your toddler take his first poop on the big potty or the first time she figures out how to tie her shoe.
But then there are those times that you ask your 3-year-old to put all the couch cushions back and suddenly he doesn’t have the strength and ability to put the very cushions he just tossed to the floor back where they came from. “You can do it!” is yelled out not with exuberance but in sheer exhaustion.
“Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?”
You’ve asked them to put their book bags away. You’ve told them it was time to turn off the TV, the Xbox, the iPad. You’ve asked them to get their rooms clean. When you say these things your offspring must somehow forget how to understand the English language because not only do they not comply, they stand there and look at you with that blank stare.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Raise your hand if you’re guilty of half listening to your kid and then when you are called on it you have to pretend like you understand or if your child is old enough you come clean and tell the truth. My 9-year-old is very into Minecraft and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to pretend to be interested in the intricate workings of this pixelated world. But then he wants to come back to discuss it later and grills me like on a pop quiz – since I know he’s old enough to handle the straight up brutal truth, sometimes I come clean “Phoenix when you talk about Minecraft I may start to tune you out.”
“Don’t. Ever. Do That Again.”
I found myself saying this to my 3-year-old son Echo after he spilled no less than a quarter gallon of milk on the floor and then proceeded to go full on Michael Phelps in it. Breaststroke, doggy paddle, butterfly stroke, everything. I think there may have been a little-synchronized swimming routine thrown in. True story.
“You can’t win”
I don’t know what movie this is from but I think this clip is my favorite. When does this apply? When they finally fall asleep after exclaiming they weren’t tired, after they finally give in and pick up the blocks they left in the middle of the floor, or when you decide to “girl bye” them and step over them while they throw a tantrum on the kitchen floor. They know they’ll never win, but you really do have to respect that drive.
“Why are you the way you are?”
I hate it when you spend countless hours preparing a fun outing for your kids and then all they do is complain about how hungry, tired and bored they are. But you know if you would have stayed home and binged on Netflix you would have heard the same complaints. Every day my 3-year-old says “Can we do something fun?” We always go to the mall play area. But literally from the moment he gets there all he does is whine that he wants a pretzel, gets the pretzel then says he’s tired. I think his “can we do something fun” is just code for “I’m hungry.”
“I meant what I said and I said what I meant”
Multiple times a day I find myself saying some variation of this to my 9-year-old. Again, it goes back to that language barrier thing we clearly have going on. Usually, I follow up with “I.will.not.be.repeating.myself” then we all buckle over with giggles because of course, I will.
“Please go away! Let me sleep for the love of God!”
I don’t always get to take a nap. But when everything in heaven has aligned so that I can I cherish those brief moments of shut-eye, I try to get everything out of it that I can. It’s the perfect space in time when both toddlers are asleep, but yet that doesn’t stop the older boys from coming in trying to tell me about the aforementioned Minecraft world or asking if they can just get “one more pack of gummies!” I start off quiet “Guys, please be quiet and let me sleep.” But do they stop? Nope. When finally I yell at them to just BE QUIET who do I wake up? Yup, you guessed it the synchronized milk swimmer.
“I love you”
Even with all of that said. With all of the frustration, lack of sleep, endlessly repeating yourself, begging, and pleading they are still these perfect little creatures that you made that you can’t help but just squeeze and try to soak into your very own skin.