Whatever It Takes: A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Teens Through Challenges

Parents, one of the most vital ways we can support our teens is by helping them grow through challenges.

Whether those challenges stem from academics, friendships, trust, or the increasing desire for independence — we need to know how to best guide our kids.

But when and how do we step in? And how do we determine when outside help is the right choice?

Let’s walk through these questions together, and I’ll share a few personal examples about how I’ve tackled these questions with my family.

Understanding Teens’ Challenges

First, it’s critical that we, as parents, learn to understand the challenges our teens face.

School today isn’t what it was for us. The pressures have increased from perfecting academic performance to maintaining social circles to managing extracurricular activities. The weight of these expectations can feel overwhelming.

Then there’s the internal struggle of balancing independence with reliance on family.

In the midst of this, we need to show our teens we trust them and help them learn how to trust themselves.

For example, when my husband addressed challenging situations with my daughter, he would first give her words of assurance and safety. He would open conversations by taking her hands and telling her “I love you.”

This made it clear that even in conflict, love and trust were at the center. Plus, his approach created a safe space for dialogue.

With our son, we took a similar approach but tailored it to his needs.

Additionally, my husband and I found that our son thrived when we recommended books or resources for him. The goal was never to impose solutions but to empower him to find his own way.

The Power Tool: Storytelling

Another tool to help parents navigate challenges with their teens is storytelling. In my work as a life coach, this is one of the powerful tools I use.

Storytelling allows me to frame challenges in ways that resonate more deeply with the teen I am helping. It’s a method that opens doors for self-reflection and sparks a curiosity in teens to explore their own narratives.

For instance, I often share stories that mirror teens’ experiences — whether it’s a story about overcoming academic pressure, navigating friendships, or finding a sense of self amidst the noise of adolescence.

For parents, storytelling allows your teens to see that they are not alone in their struggles. You have faced similar challenges and come out stronger on the other side.

Your stories of failure and perseverance can help teens to see how setbacks are part of growth.

After sharing stories, I often challenge teens to reflect on the role they play in their own story. This pushes them to see how they can change the direction of their journey if needed and to take ownership of their challenges.

Knowing When to Seek Outside Help

Sometimes no matter how much we love and support our teens, they may benefit from an outside perspective.

This can be tough for us, parents. But bringing in outside help doesn’t mean we’re stepping aside; rather, it’s a recognition that we all have different strengths. And sometimes, it takes a team to raise a teen.

A life coach, counselor, mentor, or trusted adult can provide this additional guidance.

In our family, my husband and I frequently evaluate who is best suited to help our children: Is it a sibling, a trusted friend, a coach at school, or a family member they admire?

When our son faced certain challenges, he often turned to his older sister for guidance. She was someone he trusted deeply, and that relationship became an invaluable resource.

Whoever it may be for your teens, the important thing is that they feel supported from all sides.

Whatever It Takes: One Pack, One Goal

Recently, at a local college football game, we heard the crowd chant, “Whatever it takes!”

Let me tell you, that chant relates deeply to how my husband and I approach parenting. In our family, we are one pack, united in working hard toward the success of each of our members.

We will do “whatever it takes” to achieve the goals for our pack.

Doing this, though, requires sacrifice — sometimes personal, sometimes emotional.

It also requires focus and knowing what to prioritize. Research shows that working toward one goal at a time leads to better outcomes than trying to juggle too many at once.

Ultimately, our teens need to know that we are chanting for them. We need to show them we are their biggest fans, no matter what challenges come.

Though we may not always agree on the path forward, our love and support are unwavering. Whatever it takes, we’ll be there to help them succeed.