I just hung up the phone with David in Africa. What a difference several
continents can make. It’s amazing to me what happens when the things we all take for granted are taken away. What I would give for our every day normality’s. I miss him a lot but I am discovering many things about myself during this time alone. The meaning of ‘me time’ has been taken to a whole new level
Depending on Each Other
As a woman, how much of feeling good do we really get from ourselves? How much do we depend on our partners to entertain us, comfort us and make us feel like women? Do we know the meaning of ‘loving me’? And if we were all alone, could we find a way to be happy? I am happy, but learning to satisfy most of my needs that are usually passed on to another, is a new ball game for me.
So, I have been burying myself in work and of course, the kids. I am so
appreciative for them, because the exchange of love we have is remarkable. Lately, I have been getting more involved with the MM community and exploring others on the Internet. I am completely blown away at the response, feedback and kindness that is being passed from computer to computer.
Imagine trying to explain these kinds of relationships to someone 10 years ago. No Way! Welcome to social media.
I heard from a woman the other day after I wrote my Spa blog. She is not anonymous because she posted her comments on that blog, but out of respect she will remain Lady X here. She thanked me for sharing my experience and validated my need for R&R because I work very hard and 4 kids will wear the best of ‘em out. Then she began to tell me her story.
I am a single mom of 3 teens…. I know everyone thinks that teens are
easier, but in our circumstances…. they need me just as much as your
little ones do. We are in a tiny 2-bedroom apartment – my 2 girls have a
room, I have a room, and my son sleeps on a sofa bed in the living
room/dining room/office area. We have one car that I need for work – not just to get there but for in and out of the office during the day, so I
drive my two eldest children to college very early in the morning and pick them up at 10 at night. They are both honor society students in college who graduated from high school early. My youngest daughter who turns 16 in just a couple of months has already finished high school and will start college in the fall.
And The Ex…
My ex is long gone – no trace of him…I am the sole supporter of a
household of 4 and yet the amount I earn is just enough to not be eligible for government aid. My job does not have health benefits – we have no coverage.
To say I am stressed and exhausted is an understatement. To say I am very blessed is also an understatement. We are all together. We are safe. We are healthy. We are happy.
To anyone out there who is naive enough to think that because you are a celebrity, or can afford to go to a spa – that because of that you don¹t
need rest, nor ‘me time’…well they are delusional. Of course you do… you are a MOM…. your children always need you and even if a nanny or David watches them at times…they and all their needs are on your mind and heart.
You need sleep, rest…and for there to be stillness and quiet…not even to think…. just to BE.
My question to you was I suppose the hope that as a mom there was a way to find that refuge at home?
Your Blog Talked To Me…
Your blog answered me…I am a tad challenged in some of the usual means of finding relaxation and peace…. I have so solely devoted every moment to
working as many hours as needed to make ends meet, and the rest of my time
with my children that I do not have friends that can swap time, chores, etc
with me…. I do not have family (only child…no other family), I have not
won the lottery, nor a dream trip away even to a local place of serenity….
even the bath tub in this apartment is not the most user friendly…I have
become adept at relaxing showers but it is not the same.
I appreciate your blogs SO much – not because I get a glimpse into a more
glamorous life, but because I see that ALL moms feel this way at times….
that it is not me buckling under hard times.”
I thought about her life and how her feeling of gratitude outweighed her
stress and exhaustion. Reading that actually made me embrace my stressful
moments today and appreciate them. I thought of David and what he would give
for a day with the kids, even in their witching hour.
When we reach out to other women, there is much to learn. As always, a lesson
in someone¹s struggle, a smile in their joy, and even an opportunity to
support someone when they need it. Lady X will have her day of R & R, I
will be sure of that, not because I feel sorry for her, but because I admire
her. She is Super Mom. I appreciate her support and I learned something
from her entry. In my most tired day, I will think of her and I will be
Friendship and Love
This is a crazy time, Twitter friends, a community to bounce things off of
that live on a computer screen, but the amazing part is the emotions and
opportunities to grow that come to life from someone else’s shared
I am working on some new areas for Modern Mom that I think will speak loud
to many. I am excited to share and would also love to hear from you
regarding what you would like to see more of.