I’m in-flight, on my way to Chicago to join Oprah in studio tomorrow!!!! It’s a huge moment for me! Making an appearance on her show has been on my Bucket List. I am amazed at the power of being specific in my thoughts, putting things out there and even simpler, putting them on paper. Since I wrote my wish list and blogged it several months ago, I have been checking things off. It’s an amazing feeling, but I must share that the experience of creating the list was also fulfilling.
I have been thinking about that lately. Thinking of how time is flying, about how little time I have for myself, the kids, and certainly leisure. Some of what I wished for was fantasy, but much of it is doable. For me it comes down to defining what I want, putting it out here and making it happen. Actually allowing it to happen is a better movement. I used to be afraid to wish for certain things, afraid of disappointment, failure, the unexpected. Now I am going for it all in my life. For the kids, my relationship and me. It’s a very freeing feeling, It’s amazing, it’s exciting for me to really want certain things, put energy into them, and then to experience them. It’s happening in my relationship too, what a beautiful thing!
Since David has been back from Africa, we have been closer than ever. Not just because we missed each other, because we are really trying. We are connected, we are communicating, and most importantly we are being compassionate with each other. I’ve been all over my kids about having that quality as well. I’ve been preaching kindness a lot lately and trying to ask my kids to put each other before themselves. It’s a really hard concept at their ages, but I’m not giving up. With my brood of four, its absolute chaos if everyone is fending for them and not helping out each other. It feels like a team on most days, sometime one playing against the other! But the older they get the more I am relying on teamwork to make it through most events.
Everyone is on his or her own schedule now. My big girls are in dance, taking piano lessons, and consumed with lots of homework. Rain is taking ballet, learning to swim with her brother, and going to school. Shaya joins her at school part of the week and has been happy tagging along with us until now. He is developing his own interests, and they are far away from our girl squad! He has such a different energy. I must admit that I have a LOT to learn about boy stuff. You can imagine considering none of us have played any organized sports, YET!!!
I am realizing that although everyone wants to do his or her own thing, mommy time is still so important. I am busier than I would like to be these days so I have been making weekend’s mandatory family time. I can’t wait to get home and spend some quality time with everyone. I am so happy to be working but I am missing the days when I had fewer obligations. I never liked to travel without my kids; actually I never have until now. I think I will always feel guilt about that. I am only away for one night this trip, but I HATE missing bedtime and not being there before school. Lately I have lots of 2 day jobs, but they seem to all be out of town. I used to take the kids on those, but with school their structure seems to be more important.
I missed kissing them goodnight tonight, but I’ll be back tomorrow and will make up for it then with extra kisses.