How to Recover Financially and Emotionally After Losing Your Home in a Wildfire

Los Angeles Wildfires

How to Recover Financially and Emotionally After Losing Your Home in a Wildfire

Los Angeles is the birthplace of ModernMom.com, and it’s been heart-wrenching to see so many suffering in our community. 

When a natural disaster strikes, the financial losses are staggering, but as moms, our first concern is often for our families. How do we explain this to our kiddos? How do we support our partners while holding ourselves together? How do we even find the strength to ask for help when we feel like we need to do it all? How are we going to get through this? It’s all so overwhelming.

The truth is, none of us can face something like this alone and we truly shouldn’t have to. Below, I’ll share ways to talk to your kids, care for yourself and your partner, and, hopefully, build a support network while navigating the financial recovery process. There are also resources just for moms to help you take those first steps toward rebuilding: both emotionally and financially.

Talking to Your Kids About the Disaster

Children, no matter their age, can sense when something is wrong. While it’s tempting to shield them from the details, honesty (with age-appropriate language) helps them feel more secure and included.

1. Validate Their Feelings

• For Younger Kids: Use simple, reassuring language. “The fire hurt our house, so we need to stay somewhere else for a while. But we’re safe, and we’re figuring it out together.”
• For Older Kids: They’ll likely have more questions about what’s happening and may even overhear news updates. Be honest but reassuring. “We’ve lost some things, but we’ll get through this as a family.”
• Encourage Them to Express Themselves: Let them draw, write, or talk about how they’re feeling. Avoid dismissing their fears or saying things like “Don’t worry about it”or “let me just handle it” — acknowledge their emotions and let them know it’s okay to feel upset.

2. Give Them a Sense of Control

Kids feel powerless during disasters. Give them small tasks they can manage, like packing their favorite items for temporary housing or helping organize toys. These actions give them a sense of normalcy and purpose.

3. Maintain Routines Where Possible

Even in a temporary home, keep bedtime rituals, family meals, and other familiar routines. Predictability is a comfort, especially when everything else feels chaotic.

4. Be Honest About the Road Ahead

If rebuilding or recovery will take time, let your kids know. You don’t have to have all the answers—just remind them that you’re working on it and they’re not alone.

How to Ask for Help (Even When It’s Hard)

As moms, we often feel like we have to be the rock for everyone else. Asking for help can feel like admitting defeat but it totally isn’t. In fact, being vulnerable can be an act of strength and love for your family.

1. Start with Your Network

• Family and Friends: Reach out to close friends or family members. Let them know specifically what you need—whether it’s childcare while you make calls or emotional support during a tough moment.
• Community Groups: Churches, parent groups, and local organizations often mobilize to help during disasters. Don’t hesitate to lean on your community.

2. Use Available Resources

There’s no shame in seeking assistance—it’s what these programs are for:

• FEMA: Start with disaster assistance (disasterassistance.gov).
• Nonprofits: Organizations like the Red Cross or Team Rubicon offer emotional support and practical help.
• Mental Health Support: Many areas have free or low-cost counseling for disaster victims. Check with your local government or organizations like the Disaster Distress Helpline (1-800-985-5990).

3. Say Yes to Help

If someone offers to help, say yes — even if it feels uncomfortable. As moms, this might take practice, but this is the time when we really do need help. Whether it’s a meal, a ride, or simply listening to us vent, letting others step in gives you space to focus on what matters most.

Taking Care of Yourself and Your Partner

Disasters affect everyone in the family differently. While we focus on our kids, it’s easy to forget our own needs — or those of our partner or significant other. But your well-being is essential to holding your family together.

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel

It’s okay to grieve the loss of your home, routines, and sense of security. Cry, vent, or journal—whatever helps you process. Remember, you’re not just “the mom” or “the caregiver.” You’re a person navigating something incredibly hard.

2. Check in with Your Partner

Disasters can strain even the strongest relationships. Make time to talk openly with your partner about how you’re both feeling and what you need from each other. It’s okay to admit if you’re overwhelmed.

• Divide Responsibilities: Share the workload, whether it’s paperwork, managing the kids, or organizing finances. A shared burden feels lighter.
• Find Small Moments Together: Even if it’s just five minutes for coffee or holding hands at the end of the day, reconnecting can help you both feel supported.

3. Take Care of Your Body

• Sleep: Even if it’s not perfect, prioritize rest. Nap if you can during the day.
• Hydrate and Eat: Simple meals are fine—just don’t skip meals entirely.
• Move Your Body: A short walk or some stretches can do wonders for your stress levels.

4. Seek Emotional Support

Many moms feel the pressure to keep it all together, but burnout is real. Lean on friends, support groups, or even a therapist. Sometimes just hearing, “You’re doing great” from someone who gets it can be transformative.

Resources Just for Moms and Families

• National Parent Helpline: Call 1-855-427-2736 for emotional support and parenting advice.
• The Disaster Distress Helpline: Offers crisis counseling and support (1-800-985-5990).
• The Mom Project: Provides resources for working moms navigating challenges, including financial recovery (themomproject.com).
• Local Parent Groups: Look for mom groups on social media or through local community centers. They often share resources, meals, or emotional support.

A Reminder for Moms Everywhere

You’re not alone in this. Whether you’re navigating the loss of a home, comforting your children, or finding ways to stay afloat, know that there’s a community of moms out here rooting for you. This is hard, but you’re resilient—and you don’t have to do it alone.

For those who aren’t directly affected, share this post with anyone who might need it. If you’ve been through a similar situation, leave a comment below with tips or encouragement. Let’s support each other because that’s what moms do—we lift each other up.

What’s helping you through this tough time? Share in the comments. Let’s create a space for connection and support for every family navigating the unimaginable.